The first four to six months after having a new baby are an absolute wreck. Everyone is tired, people are frustrated, you’re all learning new things every day – and if you’re the person who gave birth, you can toss a big ol’ helping of hormones into the mix.
OP and his wife have a 2-month-old who she exclusively breastfeeds. Because of this, OP recognizes that his wife gets less sleep than he does.
My fiancé “Jen” (29f) just gave birth to our daughter 2 months ago. She strictly breastfeeds, so as you can imagine, she gets far less sleep than I do.
During the day I help with changing or holding her but all feedings are up to Jen (the baby outright refuses a bottle- we have tried several times, but ultimately we are both okay with this).
He’s working full time and also developing a video game on the side. After he has dinner and spends time with his baby, he’ll often stay up late working on his side project.
Anyways, I’m kind of a independent start up video game developer. I did make one video game 2 years ago but it honestly wasn’t that great. So while I do get revenue from it, it’s definitely not much or even a liveable wage.
This time around however I’m working with 4 other people and the game is turning out great. I also work a 9-5.
But after getting home, having dinner with my fiancé and looking after the baby for awhile, I jump on and work on the game.
OP admits that he snores something awful when he’s really tired. On the night in question he states he was exhausted, and when he climbed into bed, his wife asked him to sleep on the couch so his snoring wouldn’t wake the baby.
For the past 2-3 nights I have been up til 1-2am working on the game and I have been ultra tired.
I snore like a maniac when I’m tired. It’s super embarrassing because I truly sound like a mack truck.
But yesterday the baby had her 2 months shots and she was so fussy. Cried way more than normal. It was super hard for my fiancé to get her to sleep.
I finally went to bed around 2am and my fiancé immediately asked me to sleep on the couch so I wouldn’t wake the baby with my snoring.
He refused, because the couch isn’t comfortable, he was tired, and he had to work in the morning.
His wife took the baby to her room, and in the morning he found the baby in the crib and his wife on the floor without a pillow or blankets.
I said no.
I was so tired and the couch is not comfortable at all. I had to work early. I wanted to sleep.
She didn’t fight it but she called me a “******* prick” and walked out of the room with the baby.
I woke up this morning to the baby in the crib in the nursery and my fiancé asleep on the floor with no pillows/blankets.
She still won’t talk to me.
She’s mad and he’s starting to wonder if he did something wrong.
Reddit…do your thing.
The top comment states OP made a series of choices that led to his fatigue – his wife did not.
This fellow new mom says he needs to do a better job helping her out.
He’s supposed to be making her life easier, not harder.
They can’t believe how selfish he was, to be honest.
This guy had better grovel.
And then take some serious time to re-evaluate his life.
If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.