There is a common myth that because we need doctors to survive, they – as a class – can do no wrong or shouldn’t be questioned.
This is a dangerous myth because they are only human, too, and mistakes can be made.
OP was born with a cleft palate and has had surgeries to correct it.
I was born with a cleft lip and had extensive surgeries to correct it. Now it’s significantly less visible and the result was told to be impressive.
Now, she mostly sees an ENT to deal with excessive wax in her ears.
On the unrelated note, I also have a wax issue with my ears so I have to see an ENT specialist doctor from time to time to get the wax removed.
It happened to me before to have doctors (which are supposed to just remove my wax) to marvel at my cleft lip and the whole work done around it.
For me it’s weird because 1) I don’t consider it THAT ground-breaking and 2) they’re doctors, shouldn’t they be more USED to that? However, I usually don’t say much about it.
Recently, she had a doctor refuse to back off.
Anyway cue doctor Jane who was supposed to remove my wax for the day. I scheduled an appointment SPECIFICALLY for that.
She does it and then proceeds to ask me to open my mouth (although I told her the issue is with my EARS).
I comply, foolishly imagining it’s gonna be relevant to my problem but she begins talking about my cleft lip and how great the result is and wants to examine my nose point at which I stop her.
I tell her there’s nothing wrong with my nose and ask her if she suspects there might be an infection spreading to my ears or something.
She says something like “No, I just wanted to have a look and see more about your cleft lip…”
I stop her again (literally pushing her hands away) and keep asking if she’s done with my ears.
She says yes and KEEPS TRYING to see the work for my cleft lip.
I told her to quit it, that I’m not sort of a museum piece that she gets to look at from all the sides and that for my cleft lip problems I see other doctors.
The doctor accused her of being out of line, but OP doesn’t think she was.
Meanwhile I got up from the chair and started to get my stuff to leave. She said that there’s no need to react like that and all she did was try to help me.
I explained all the help I needed from her was with my ears and if I need more, I’ll let her know. By then I was already dressed with the hand on the door handle.
She kept telling me this is no way of behaving and I’m disrespectful to her. I (almost) snapped but told her as calmly as I could that for me this is not an “interesting case”, but a lifelong condition and I’m not fond of people pointing fingers at it.
I explained to her I find it unprofessional and rude. I then just left to avoid further conflict. Was I wrong?
Reddit i going to set her straight!
The top comment says boundaries matter more than curiosity.
It’s OP’s body and she has the right to say no.
There’s nothing wrong with asking.
Permission still matters.
This really is appalling.
I hope she made a formal complaint.
If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.