As I’m sure everyone knows all too well this holiday season, gift giving can be very tricky.
You’re not sure what people really want, or what size someone wears or whether they’d actually use what you’re getting for them.
But one of the trickiest parts, especially when you have to give gifts to multiple people, is making sure you get everyone something around the same value.
This was the problem one Reddit user ran into, when his son felt hurt that his sister’s gift was significantly more expensive than the one this user had gotten for him.
He went to Reddit to see if he was in the wrong.
AITA for giving my daughter a “better” present than my son?
Our son is 22 and our daughter is 26. She bought a house in July.
We know that moving into a new home always comes with unexpected costs, right after you’ve probably depleted most of your funds. So, for Christmas we gave her $4000.
We gave our son a few different gifts totaling somewhere around $800.
The son confessed to his father that his feelings had been hurt…
Our son still lives with us, and today he told us both that he didn’t want to say anything while his sister was here, but his feelings were hurt by the disparity in the value of the gifts.
We explained that the gifts we got him were tailored to his interests, but his sister has just passed a big life milestone where money is more important to her right now than sentiment. He said it’s still hurtful because it feels like we are more proud of her than him.
My wife got really frustrated when he said that and asked why he would choose the least charitable interpretation of our actions.
I said that we didn’t give her money because we were more proud, but because we had experience being new homeowners and knowing that something always breaks in that first six months and it’s always expensive. He said that was all fine and good, but it still hurt to get a worse present and feel like an afterthought.
His wife was at a loss…
My wife asked if he expected us to get him four thousand dollars worth of gifts.
He said no, but he expected the gifts between him and his sister to be equal. My wife said that’s the same thing, and my son said it isn’t.
He said we could have given her the monetary equivalent of what we gave him.
I told him that it isn’t really fair for him to decide how much we spend on someone else’s gift. Furthermore, cash is less personal than gifts, so giving her a cash equivalent to what he got would be her getting the “worse” gift.
He said we weren’t listening to him, just justifying. My wife said we didn’t need to justify anything, and he was being entitled.
The result?
He skipped lunch (breakfast for him) today, and when he left for work he didn’t say goodbye even though I was right by the door.
On the one hand, we should be able to give our money to whoever we want. On the other, I never want to hurt my son’s feelings. Were we wrong?
While the user and his wife are entitled to give whatever they want to whoever they want, giving one kid $4000 right in front of the other kid who got much less is a pretty messed up thing to do!
Some redditors seemed to agree, with this user saying that they could have given the daughter the money on a different day to avoid hurting anyone’s feelings.
However, many commenters argued that the son is not taking the special occasion of his sister buying a house into consideration.
And this user said that if would have received presents with the value of 800 dollars, the last thing he would have thought to do was complain!
Listen, once you’re a grown adult, expecting your parents to give you gifts of equal value is pretty nuts.
Maybe this just a symptom of our society and how people are taking too long to grow up?
This kid needs to stop complaining. For real.
If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.