There are awkward moments in life that we all have to deal with – like when we feel like someone we know is having kids they can’t afford but it’s really none of our business.
That said, we don’t have to enable their choices.
OP’s boyfriend is one of 9 (soon to be 10) kids.
I (19f) have been dating my bf, Jake, (19m) for almost a year now, we have lived together for a while as well due to circumstances, Jakes mom (vicky 37ish f) has 8 other kids aged between 10 months and 16yrs with one more on the way but they live in a 4 bedroom house.
So there isn’t much space. Me and my jake live in a 3 bed rental a 5 minute drive away.
His mom wants some of the younger kids to come and stay with them when she gives birth to #10.
Vicky asked me if me and jake would mind if the younger kids came and stayed with us for a few weeks after the baby is born so they dont have to worry about the other kids.
I said no, i dont want to be responsible for them as we looked after 2 of them for a few days when they went on holiday and had to spend our own money on the kids, for food, and all of that.
Vicky was insistent, telling us we had enough space and wanted the 2, 3, 5, and 7 year olds to stay with us, saying the reason they waited for the next kid was for me and jake to move so that they could spend more time with the baby.
Then she asked us if we would at least come stay with them on their sofa for a few weeks as we used to live on the sofa, and just prepare meals and make sure the younger ones are cared for.
OP doesn’t want to do it, for a few good reasons. Her boyfriend, though, is feeling guilty.
Jake now feels guilty because he knows his parents are overwhelmed, but personally i dont think they should be having any more kids as they dont have space.
I am not going to stop them, but i feel like its immoral to enable them.
However i feel like i might be the a—— as if the kids don’t stay with us they won’t be being looked after properly.
I wonder if Reddit is feeling conflicted, too.
The top comment says they might as well get used to it.
This person thinks her boyfriend’s mom is unhinged.
Other people had some math questions.
Either way, it’s definitely not OP’s problem.
This person believes some boundaries are in order.
I feel badly for the kids.
But OP shouldn’t be the one feeling badly – their parents should.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.