Blended families can be a beautiful thing when all parties are in agreement.
When there’s fundamental differences, however, it can get tricky.
One man took to Reddit to share his side of the story.
I (m34) got married to my husband, Mar (m35), last October, and with the marriage came three kids from his previous relationship.
I adore them, I have a good relationship with the younger two, the eldest (Damon) is still rather awkward around me.
I’d say that I am their main carer, as Mar is paid enough at work to allow me to stay at home and focus on my art, and their mother, Christine, is always busy with shifts at her two jobs.
It’s gotten to the point that the youngest, Alma (F2), calls me ‘daddy.’
The man, and new stepfather, has very strict beliefs on vegetarianism.
I have very solid beliefs, such as the belief that meat is unethical.
I don’t want anyone to bring meat into my house, when I got into a relationship with Mar, he became vegetarian.
As a result, when the kids are here, the meals I cook for them contain no meat.
While the vegetarianism was not an issue previously, the eldest has now decided he wants to eat meat.
Damon had no problem with it up until now, and he complains at every given opportunity about the lack of meat.
I’ve explained to him that eating meat is non-negotiable, he can eat it at his mother’s.
His father backed me up.
I’ve tried to compromise by buying him ‘beyond meat’, but he still insists on actual meat.
Another thing is that my husband is very affectionate to me and the kids, although Damon being 15 is embarrassed by that.
The younger two always climb onto our laps for hugs, and Alma always wants to be carried around on my hip.
I don’t speak to Christine much, we’re not on very good terms as she has been prejudiced to me in the past and critical of my former job, so I was surprised when she wanted to speak to me when I dropped her kids off at her home.
The ex-wife/mother of the children is not happy with the man’s choices.
She demanded that I don’t ‘push’ vegetarianism on her kids, to allow them to eat meat in our home, to which I told her that I don’t dictate what food she cooks in her house, so she shouldn’t do so to me.
She also stated she was uncomfortable with Alma calling me ‘daddy’ and the affection I show to her kids.
Asides from being vegetarian, I tried to respect her wishes and discourage Alma from calling me ‘daddy’ and I stopped letting her and river climb onto my lap or hug me.
That didn’t work out very well and I was left to deal with 2 confused and upset little kids to comfort, therefore I decided to go against their mother’s wishes and let them carry on doing what they’re used to.
Despite the mother’s wishes, the man does not feel comfortable ceasing showing his stepkids love.
I feel conflicted because their mother’s wishes have been disrespected, but at the same time, I’m just doing what’s best for the kids, not what’s best for her.
Reddit users were not on the writer’s side for this story.
This reader felt that the writer and his husband are both at fault.
Another person also agreed that him and the father are both the bad guys here.
And this reader felt that the eldest child is too old to not be allowed to make his own dietary decisions.
Sorry, writer. Looks like it’s time to hit the deli.
If you liked that post, check this one about a guy who got revenge on his condo by making his own Christmas light rules.