Bringing food to people when you’re in a relationship is a pretty big deal.
I mean, if you come home with takeout or smelling of takeout and there’s nothing for me…we’re going to throw hands.
OP and her daughter love spicy food; her husband does not.
I 28f have been with my husband 28m for 9 years, married for 2 this summer. We have a daughter who is 7 years.
We rarely even fight, and if we do it has been more major and serious things, but this, what to me was a small issue is now turning into the biggest argument we have ever had.
So the problem is that me and our daughter loves LOVES spicy food, I always have and ever since I felt comfortable with her trying it, she has loved it too. Sure we couldn’t compete in a spice eating contest and even though our tolerance is high, it is not extreme.
But my husband, he hates it, he is one of those people who thinks spice is unnecessary and only likes to use salt and pepper. This is not a problem, sometimes I make a batch that suits his taste, another one for me and our daughter.
Sometimes me and our daughter will just eat how it is to his liking, as too little spices is easier to handle than to much as it would be for him.
Since she knew he was going to be gone until well after dinner time one night, she and her daughter ordered it spicy.
Now this Saturday he was away with friends to go pick up some car parts, it was a 12 hour drive in total, and they left at about 9.
I went ahead and ordered from a Indian place that our daughter has as her favorite, my husband also likes this place and just orders something mild when we eat from there.
Since my husband was not home, I did not order him anything as I thought that they would’ve eaten on the road.
When he got home, he was upset that there was nothing for him the fridge.
When he got home, he greeted us then immediately went to the fridge and saw some boxes left of food.
When he opened them, he obviously noticed he could not eat any of them.
Now we argued just for about 5 minutes of this, the consensus of the argument was him saying that I should’ve either thought about him and ordered him something, or I should’ve asked him if he had eaten or wanted anything.
I argued that I would’ve probably done so if it was just for a few hours he was away, but he was away for over 12 hours and came home about 4 hours after we usually eat, so I assumed he had eaten.
She’s totally confused as to whether or not she might have done something wrong.
Now he has barely talked, he cooked his dinner for himself because in his words “I can’t be bothered.”
He texted me from the living room when I was cooking for me and our daughter that he hoped I was happy to have my food my way now.
He is extremely weird about this, he has never ever acted this way about something like this and I am getting even more confused by it all.
Reddit to the rescue!
The top comment says OP was totally reasonable.
This person wonders if the argument is really about the food.
But this person can see how her husband might feel hurt.
Either way, they could work on their communication skills.
They’re confused about the no food on a road trip thing.
OP didn’t do anything wrong.
That said, better communication is never a bad thing.