The days following a baby’s birth should be as peaceful as possible for the parents, especially the new Mom.
This can lead to some awkward situations with family members who can’t wait to see their newest family member.
But usually relatives understand they just have to wait until the couple is ready. Usually.
Well apparently this user’s mother in law didn’t get the memo. When she found out other family members saw her grandson before her, she punished the gluten-free Mom with food she couldn’t eat!
When she was furious and told her Mom so, chaos erupted and she went to Reddit to see if she was in the wrong. Decide for yourself!
AITA for telling MIL I was mad she brought food I can’t eat and giving it away?
F27 I had my first baby six days ago.
My birth went well but I am still recovering, in quite a bit of pain, and have been very sensitive emotionally since giving birth.
My husband (M27) & I told our families that we’d likely have no visitors for the first 1-2 weeks, just to set expectations.
But privately the two of us decided that we would play it by ear and see how we felt.
Luckily, OP’s Mom and close friends were around to help her through the exhausting days following the birth.
Our second day home with our baby was really rough on me and all I wanted was my mom to comfort and help me, so husband and I decided to call my mom and have her come over.
She was such a major help, both emotionally and with the baby, so we had her come by every other day since. She went above and beyond to help us.
Also my bestie & her husband live down the street and have been dropping off meals/treats & walking our dog for us, but I don’t consider that visiting as much as favors/errands.
But when OP’s mother-in-law found out about the visits, she had her nose bent out of joint!
My mother-in-law found out about my mom’s visits and was very upset, so we decided to have her over for a brief visit, day six postpartum.
She said they’d bring food & arrived around dinner time. I have Celiac disease so I cannot eat gluten.
My mother-in-law brought homemade lasagna, pasta salad, muffins, and two types of cookies, all full-gluten.
She explained to me that she was sorry but she had limited notice and only had time to make my husband’s favorites.
And in the delicate emotional state that comes postpartum, OP had a very strong reaction to all of this.
I immediately started crying and my husband thanked his mom but took me to the other room and told me he’d take care of it and ordered us delivery on the spot.
I composed myself, introduced my mother-in-law and father-in-law to baby.
Then MIL made another comment about how she wished she could’ve brought food for me but it was just so time consuming and burdensome to make things gluten-free.
I snapped and told her she was rude and told her I was angry.
And to put a cherry on top of this emotionally volatile sundae, another guest decided to make a surprise visit.
Toward the end of the visit, my bff’s husband knocked on the door to come walk our dog and to my surprise brought us a homemade gluten-free tiramisu.
I started crying (again) and thanked him profusely, and he told us it was no problem and “surprisingly easy to make.”
My mother in law realized that they’d been coming by and started complaining about how wrong this all was.
She had to wait six days to see the baby and was “faced with [my] anger.” My husband took my baby from her and FIL snapped at her to drop it.
They stayed and chatted for a short while, and when bestie’s husband came back to drop our dog off, I sent him home with one of the batches of cookies she had brought which upset her.
Upset her? OP can’t eat any of them, what was she supposed to do sit them on the counter and just look at them? But in the days following, “upset” was a bit of an understatement.
My mother-in-law has been texting/calling and trying to rally people against me since.
My husband has my back and even went the next day to drop off almost all the rest of the gluten food to our friends and he told me to block MIL’s number if she kept harassing me.
I don’t really feel like I was in the wrong but I’m also extremely emotional and sensitive to everything right now.
Because of this I’m not sure I’m reacting to things reasonably at this time. Most of my in-laws are mad at me. AITA?
Seems like her mother in law brought that food to punish her for making her wait to see the baby, but based on her actions I’d say OP had a good mind to keep her far far away!
Reddit agreed, saying it was ridiculous of her to say she didn’t have time to accomodate OP.
This user shared a story of her gluten-free cousin narrowly avoiding disaster!
This user said while her excuse was ridiculous, she did understand being upset she couldn’t see the baby.
But another user was quick to disagree, saying Mom’s family always gets priority.
And finally, this user said to refuse any food from her in the future, so they didn’t “inconvenience” her.
To think, the Mother-in-law really could’ve soured her relationship with her daughter in law all over some muffins and pasta salad!
Hope it was worth it!
If you liked that post, check out this post about a rude customer who got exactly what they wanted in their pizza.