Ah the age-old familial relation issues of adding someone in from outside the ‘tribe’, so to speak.

It’s a never-ending navigation of waters previously not treaded.

And hey, it’s usually healthy, and a great way for two disparate families and ways of life to come together.

Like this story, which never devolves into anything sinister, mean or dangerous.

It’s a great learning example, even for OP!

AITAH for getting upset and hurt at my boyfriend for asking me to, “give a little more” after his parents complained that I’m a free loader whenever I come over their home?

A little backstory. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about a year, he does live at home with both of his parents.

We are both in our early 30s, and it is a bit uncomfortable with dating since he lives at home, but financially he’s saving a lot of money and with today’s market, it makes sense.

However, the past few months I’ve been coming over 2 to 3 times a week to his parents house around dinner time and to sleepover.

Every night, my boyfriend’s mother makes dinner for everybody.

She can get kind of cranky and irritable, so we all just try to give her her own space in the kitchen.

She explains that she’s around to help whenever asked.

But is that enough?

But whenever she asks for my help, I always give her whatever assistance she may need.

I also do whatever tasks she wants around the house, including sweeping/cleaning the floors, cleaning up the kitchen and the dishes after dinner, buying things outside of the home that she may need/asks for, pickup up her vegetable/fruit COOP at the local farm when she’s out of town.

Then it seems like the parents might have hit their breaking point unbeknownst to her.

Over Thanksgiving day weekend, my boyfriend asked his parents if I could sleep over Saturday night.

His parents stated they didn’t want me to sleep over that night, so I did get kind of sad, but I went home and he slept over my place that night.

But after I left that night (and before my bf came to my place), they got in a heated fight about it all.

His mom stated, “She shows up right at dinner and we feel like she’s free loading. She doesn’t offer to help out or help out while I’m cooking. She doesn’t help prepare the food with me.”

While his dad said, “I don’t like having her here because it feels like i can’t be comfortable when she around.”

The boyfriend went to bat for her, but it sounds like some middle ground might have to be reached.

My boyfriend said he did defend me during this argument with his parents.

He said that he listed off things of how I helped her in past instances, and gave examples of how I always clean up the kitchen, and I always do everything she asks of me.

But what hurt my feelings is that my bf wants me to, “give a little bit more and help out more just so she shuts up about it.”

And now she’s in the thick of it, not sure of the next best move.

But I find that insulting bc I’ve done nothing wrong!!

AITAH for feeling insulted that I need to change? I feel like they are the ones who need to change and apologize.

I’m just looking for some unbiased opinions about this whole situation. Thank you!

Here’s one of those stories where the comments section came in handy.

And the criticism was incredibly constructive.

I’m sorry…is this the same internet I remember?

That exists??

One person pointed out the main issue: too much time at the parents’ house to begin with.

Another person said the same, with a different spin to it.

And that this is a situation she’ll have to consider with marriage.

One Redditor didn’t hold back.

That last line. Had to save the best for last.

Time to grow on up now, folks.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.