Family dynamics can be complicated, but once you settle in, it can seem like a no-brainer to just stay on the ride.
When you add new people to the group, though, things are bound to get a bit rocky here and there.
This woman and her sister thanked their parents by taking them out to eat as a family once a month.
My sister Jen (28f) and I (27f) are from a lower middle class family.
Our parents worked very hard to provide for us so when we both graduated from university (same major and faculty) we agreed that we would take our parents out to eat at a nice place monthly.
We take turns paying in addition to helping them with what we can.
When she met her husband, they started paying.
I met my husband Tom (33m) when I was in my last year of university.
He’s rich (only child of 2 doctors and he himself a biomedical engineer) and he adores my parents.
We married last year, engaged for 2 years before that, and since we’ve been engaged Tom has been paying for our outings.
He took my family to the nicest places, citing YOLO, and we always had the best times.
Jen chose to do what she loved and while her pay could have been better, she never struggled financially.
She was able to take the family out until last year when she decided to pursue a graduate degree, thus not earning.
Tom and I said we would still have our monthly nice meal and we would just pay for everyone.
Then her sister’s boyfriend offered to pay one night.
Jen started seeing Rick (29m) 9 months ago. Five months into the relationship, Jen asked if she could bring Rick to our meal, and we said yes.
Rick was working a similar job to Jen’s but in a more senior position.
It so happened that my parents craved a certain type of food when Rick started to join us, so the restaurants we chose were not overly extravagant.
Rick noticed how Tom or I always paid, and said he would like to cover the bills next time.
Everyone said OK.
That is, until he saw the menu prices.
My mom chose a nice restaurant for our last outing.
My parents and Tom proceeded as usual but I noticed Rick and Jen looking a little tense.
When it was almost time to pay, Jen pulled me aside and asked if she could borrow some money. I told her I would happily pay for the meal.
Jen said it would make Rick look bad to not be able to pay when he said he would.
I told Jen Rick could put everything on his credit card and I would send him money later.
She and her husband offered to help him out, but an argument ensued instead.
Rick ended up doing that, and after we four sent my parents back home, I asked Rick how much money he would like me to help him with.
Rick said he did not expect to dine with such elites and it was classist of us to spend so much on just one meal.
Tom said if he couldn’t afford the place, he could just tell us and we could have changed the place.
Rick then accused Tom and me of calling him poor and beneath us. He said he would rather go into debts than accepting our help.
I could tell Tom was mad but he just took me home.
Jen later called me and said I was inconsiderate for not asking our mom to choose a less pricey restaurant.
She said if Tom and I thought the restaurants we had been dining at so far were normal priced, we were so out of touch with reality.
She said Rick was also mad at her for making him lose face. AITA?
Did they do anything wrong? Was the sister’s boyfriend just prideful? Reddit is weighing in!
The top comment says the boyfriend was prideful and ridiculous.
This person agrees the fault lies with the sister and her boyfriend.
But this commenter has empathy for the boyfriend.
Others think maybe we’re all missing the point.
They definitely weren’t letting the boyfriend off the hook.
This guy clearly has his own issues.
He definitely doesn’t need to take them out on others, though.
If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.