Marriage is hard. It’s harder when you’re broke.
Some people are strong enough to fight out of it while others stumble and fall.
Let’s find out how this marriage seems to be stumbling because of financial troubles.
AITAH for telling my wife I won’t be as stressed out next year because I won’t be married to her?
I’ve (32 M) been married to my wife Jen (32 f) for a little over 7 years now. Up until about two years ago, things were great.
However, a disastrous move, a few family emergencies, and a totaled car have left us in a terrible financial situation.
They were drained of money.
All our savings are pretty much gone, 401k’s empty, and we’re hemorrhaging money.
Before we bought our house 2 years ago, things were amazing financially. We made the mistake of buying a nice 3-bedroom house because we planned on having kids.
A kid is the last thing they want right now.
Those plans, thankfully, got put on the back burner because adding a kid into this mess right now would kill us. It’s not really a mystery why things are like this.
Jen and I are both underpaid at our jobs, and we moved into a high-cost-of-living area like morons.
Last December, I told Jen one of two things needed to happen: We either sell the house or start making more money. The latter would most definitely mean finding new jobs that would pay us a market rate.
Jen wasn’t trying hard enough.
Jen pushed back on this because she loved the house and her current job. I told her she had to choose one and couldn’t have it both ways and after a week of arguing, she agreed we would look for new jobs.
It’s been almost six months now.
He wanted to make things better.
Last Friday, I signed an offer for a new job. It’s over a 35k raise for me. Jen, however, has done nothing. In January, she asked for a raise in the market rate and was very disrespectfully told by her manager that she was not worth that.
She was shown the door to leave if she wasn’t happy. Jen has taken this as her putting in the effort and done nothing else. Telling me we should wait and see what happens with my job search.
His announcement wasn’t well received.
I’m not happy about this, when I came home Friday and told her I got the job, she got pi**y because I clarified this does not mean she can stay at her job.
We fought again, and I told her that this would mean we only stop hemorrhaging money on the house.
We will be able to save only a little and would still not be close to refilling our 401k’s. Kids, the whole reason we got this damn house would be entirely off the table.
There’s been a coldness in the air.
We haven’t talked much since then.
yesterday, her parents visited for dinner. Despite my best efforts to keep them out of it, Jen announced my new job to her parents by saying maybe I’ll stop “complaining about money” once I start.
I don’t know why I said it, but I replied with, “Oh, don’t worry, Jen. I won’t have to worry about money a year from now because we’ll be divorced by then.”
He went too far…
Things got quiet real quick after, and I excused myself. Her parents left shortly after, and she slept on the couch to avoid talking to me.
I’ve not talked to Jen or her parents since last night.
It’s getting messier.
Things are very cold between us right now, and I genuinely wonder if I did something last night that probably ruined my marriage.
He could’ve kept his mouth closed! Finances almost ruined his marriage here.
Let’s find out what the Reddit community thinks of his comment there!
This person knows the marriage is over.
This person wants the guy to throw his life away.
This person has another take on the situation.
This person has a reality check.
This person has some expert advice.
He didn’t have to be so mean to her!
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