Nothing is more important than family, and sometimes that means offering a little financial support to help through difficult times.

What happens when your daughter and her husband are making foolish financial decisions and then asking for money?

The mom in this story is refusing to offer financial support, which is making the daughter really mad.

Read on for details.

AITA for refusing to financially support my pregnant daughter and her family?

Let me give some history on my daughter and her life to explain why we’re in this position.

My daughter was 18 when she told me she wanted to marry her boyfriend of a year.

My husband and I (both 60s currently) did not want to see her get married so young, either of them, and we advised them to wait and keep dating.

To live life a little first.

His family had the same response.

Kids don’t always make the best decisions.

So to “show us all” they could do it, they went and got married at the courthouse with just some of their friends as witnesses.

Once they were married my husband and I tried to be supportive without getting in the way.

They were so young but also old enough to make decisions for themselves and we did not want to be those parents who step in and make things worse again.

The marriage was doomed from the start but they had two children together.

My grandson Indigo (now 12m) was first and he was followed by my granddaughter Skye (now 11f).

My grandchildren were loved but their parents were not happy together.

Their dad was not a good husband to my daughter, but he was an excellent father and my daughter was not a good wife to their dad but she was a good mom.

He died a few days before my granddaughters 5th birthday.

My daughter found love quickly afterward and married her current husband even faster than her first.

That is nice that he wants to be their dad.

From the time they said I do, my daughter and her husband have spent tens of thousands trying to make my grandchildren his.

They went to court for him to adopt them but the judge asked to speak with the children and said no after their meeting.

They appealed the decision and lost again.

At some point they need to see reality.

They paid thousands for a therapist to speak in court about the benefit of adopting for the kids.

The court assigned their own therapist and denied the request again.

The only real “break” from this was when the courts were only handling emergency hearings and adoption requests were delayed due to the pandemic.

But once they could they were back at it.

My husband and I asked why our daughter didn’t wait to allow the kids the choice.

But she wouldn’t hear tell of it.

This is getting ridiculous.

They borrowed money to pay for these therapists and lawyers and court fees.

Each time the request to adopt was denied by a judge.

Now my daughter is pregnant by her husband and they do not have the money they once did.

It all went on the many failed attempts to adopt my grandchildren.

Gee, I wonder why finances are tight.

My daughter turned to us (husband and myself) about a month ago now and shared how tight their finances are and asked for our help financially.

My husband and I told her we would discuss it but we’re on the same page, we do not feel we should help.

We feel like doing so will allow our daughter and her husband to continue this pointless adoption pursuit and is not in the best interest of the family.

My daughter was furious when we told her no.

She asked how we can turn our backs on family.

She has said we are clearly not fit to be parents or grandparents.

AITA?

While it is great that the new husband wants to be his step-kids dad, they really need to stop wasting money.

Take a look at these comments about the story.

Help the kids directly, not by giving money.

Let the kids make the decision.

Some people have no concept of money.

Better safe than sorry. Check on those kids!

They are just throwing good money after bad.

Come on mom, give it up!

And listen to your kids.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.