Losing a mom to cancer is so hard, especially for children. Sometimes the loss brings the child closer to their stepparent.

Then there are situations like this one when the opposite happens.

The stepmom and child have an even bigger rift.

Here’s why it happened in this case.

AITA for refusing to bring my letter from my mom to family therapy?

When I was 6 my dad met my stepmother and they got married by the time I was 7.

My mom and stepmother did not get along at all.

My mom got sick when I was 8 and she died when I was 10. The worst part of that time was when she got too sick to take care of me and I had to live with my dad all the time.

Before she died she wrote me a letter and told me to read it whenever I needed to feel close to her.

She said she put all her love into that letter. She also left me cards for milestones.

It was supposed to be a comforting gesture, but it’s complicated.

My mom’s original letter made my stepmother so angry though.

My stepmother is angry that my mom never mentioned her in the letter and that mom never asked me to let her (stepmother) in.

She felt like mom put up a final wall between us and made sure she would always be the outsider in my eyes and I would always long for my mom and reject her as a mother figure.

We’re in counselling now.

Then pressure comes from outside of the family, too.

After two months of therapy my stepmother wants the letter brought into sessions.

The counsellor feels like that’s a good idea and we should discuss the content of it since it’s such a point of tension.

But I don’t want my stepmother anywhere near it. She’s poison when it comes to my mom and I don’t want her to taint it.

AITA?

Here’s what people are saying.

A few people were concerned about what the stepmom might do with the letter.

I think this would be helpful, although I think she needs a new therapist.

The therapist seems incompetent or at least unethical.

Aren’t therapists supposed to help you create and maintain boundaries?

Why on earth is a private letter anyone’s business to read, never mind comment on!

Losing a mom is so hard.

I hope this kid finds peace soon.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.