Woman Is Exhausted By Her Friend’s Constant Complaining, And Eventually Tells Her That She Is The Real Cause Of Her Own Problems

Ryan McCarthy

4 months ago

You know the saying “glass half empty/glass half full?”

Well some people don’t even see the glass half empty. They see it fully empty. They barely even see a glass in the first place!

But to continue this shaky metaphor, these people who refuses to see even an ounce of water in their glass are the same people who complain about being thirsty their whole life!

Well when this user was tired of her friend’s constant complaining, her friend finally crossed the line when she complained about the job that this user had actually gotten her.

Was she wrong to give her friend a harsh dose of reality?

Decide for yourself!

AITA for telling my friend she causes her own problems?

I (27F) have a close friend, Jane (27F), who is constantly complaining to me about the same few things that are completely changeable.

She’ll beg for my advice, I’ll give it, and then she’ll do the exact same things again and continue to complain about them.

It got to the point where it honestly seemed like Jane was just doing these things to have a reason to complain, so I eventually stopped giving her advice but would still let her vent.

And this problem was only exacerbated by Jane’s recent change in employment…

Recently, Jane switched jobs after years of complaining about her old one and how she felt underpaid and under appreciated, which I do agree that she was.

So I helped her get a new job at my old place of employment with a significantly better salary. My old boss had left but I was still in touch with one of my old coworkers, Sarah.

She told me to let Jane know that the new boss will sometimes call employees after hours, but they are in no way obligated to answer and wouldn’t be penalized for not taking a call.

Sarah said that neither she nor any of the other coworkers have ever answered a single call and to tell Jane to do the same so he doesn’t keep bothering her.

OP explained this very carefully to Jane before she got the job….

I explained this to Jane before she got the job and asked if she was sure she wanted to take it knowing that the boss might try to call her after clocking out.

She said she understood and still wanted the job, so I set up an interview for her and she ended up getting it

A month in, Jane started complaining to me that the boss keeps calling her requesting things during off work hours.

I told her that both Sarah and I had warned her not to pick up so that she wouldn’t keep being bothered by him and asked why she picked up anyway.

And even after OP’s warning, Jane had quite the attitude!

She scoffed and said “Because I’m a good employee, so why wouldn’t I pick up?”

She then continued to complain about how annoying it was to work at a place where people condoned that and how she should have just stayed at her old job

This is where I may have been the jerk. I got very upset at that comment because I worked hard to secure an interview for her.

So OP opened the emotional floodgates, and let out QUITE the built-up frustration bomb….

“Actually, the only person condoning that is you. You knew before taking this job that the boss might try that and you were warned to just ignore it but chose not to.

“Now you’re complaining about something you don’t actually have to do.”

“You always act helpless and like all these situations just unfairly happen to you, but you’re actually causing most of your misery yourself and I can’t help you anymore”

Unsurprisingly, Jane didn’t take this very well…

I ended up going home while Jane texted me saying she couldn’t believe my lack of empathy and abandonment when I knew she had had a rough life.

I told her she knew that I also had a very hard life but I am now an adult who takes responsibility for my problems and that she should do the same.

One of our other friends told me that Jane was really hurt by what I said and that I was really harsh and should have gone easier on her.

So, AITA?

Sounds like Jane needed a harsh dose of reality, and OP was the one ready to give it. Sure she could have been a little nicer, but it probably wouldn’t have gotten through to Jane.

Reddit assured OP she was in the right, but said she probably needed to hit the brakes on this friendship.