TwistedSifter

Woman’s Defiance Of Her Husband’s Boundaries Leads To Divorce, And Her Constant Complaining Is Pushing Her Family Away Too

Source: Getty/Fizkes, Reddit/AITA

Navigating delicate family dynamics can be a delicate tightrope act.

One sister’s decision to cross her husband’s clear boundaries has now left her grappling with the inevitable consequences, and the once-stable ground beneath her marriage is crumbling.

Read on for the full story!

AITA for telling my sister to stop talking about her divorce around me?

My sister and her husband are getting a divorce. He moved out of the family home and filed.

My sister didn’t see it coming, despite warnings that it could happen because she went behind his back.

They set the scene for this dramatic divorce.

The story basically goes, she married him knowing he had absolutely no interest in having his mom, stepdad or half siblings in his life.

He didn’t like his stepdad. He didn’t want half siblings. That was something everyone in our family knew. He was open about having no desire for contact.

The sister did not honor this desire.

My sister married him, had kids with him, and then decided he was wrong to deny his family for being steps and halfs, so she was making contact and introducing the kids behind his back.

She argued with him when he found out and said if nobody else, his half siblings deserves to be included because they’re the most innocent in his family.

They didn’t ask to be born and weren’t a part of any of the wrongs his mom and stepdad did.

Her husband stood his ground, unwilling to budge.

He told her he wanted nothing to do with them and they weren’t his real siblings anyway.

He also told her she had gone behind his back and betrayed his trust and he was not going to stand for it or allow their kids to see “that man” as grandpa or “those kids” as aunts and uncles.

The sister doesn’t know how to feel.

My sister doesn’t want her marriage to end, but has also been ticked at her husband because he’s “correcting” stuff she told their kids about the stepdad and half siblings and has told their kids they (stepdad, half siblings) are not family and stuff.

She’s mad at him for that because the kids are more resistant now to contact with their paternal side and don’t call them grandparents/aunts/uncles anymore. But she also doesn’t want to divorce her husband.

It’s a mess. It’s crazy.

However, her constant complaints are wearing on the family.

My parents are encouraging her to open up and stuff. To talk about it. I’m less sympathetic and patient.

It’s six months on from him filing and I can’t be around my extended family without hearing about this.

My sister goes from badmouthing her husband to saying she hopes he calls off the divorce and they can work out and be a family again.

My sister also tries to talk to me just 1:1 about it.

The sibling has their own reservations about the situation.

I think my reason for being so indifferent to this, annoyed about hearing it, is because she knew how he felt. She knew what his boundaries were re: his family.

She had a choice not to marry him. She had a choice not to go behind his back.

To expect he’d be fine with it when she knew.

Regardless of what anyone thinks of his actions… hers were not that smart and should not come as a surprise and I don’t feel bad for her.

I do, however, feel bad for the kids caught in the middle.

Finally, they had enough.

When my sister tried to talk about the divorce again two or three days ago I asked her to stop talking about it with and around me.

She asked how I could be so cold.

I told her it wasn’t like people didn’t warn her (my parents did before they got married because they didn’t love how her husband felt about the half siblings).

And hearing about this over and over is getting so old.

AITA?

This sibling is at their wits’ end. It’s time for the sister to find another outlet for her troubles.

What did Reddit have to say?

It’s not fair for the sister to pour all of her angst into one person, but maybe they could rephrase their objections.

It’s high time for some boundaries to be set.

An attentive partner listens when their partner voices a decision.

The sister made her bed, now she has to lie in it.

The sister’s choices have left her tangled in a web of regret, with no easy way out.

In this story, it’s clear that your family can’t always bail you out of a bad decision.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.

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