Divorced Couple Fight Over Finding A Babysitter For Their Son, But He Laughs In Her Face When She Suggests He Pay Her To Watch Her Own Child

Ryan McCarthy

3 months ago

One of the hardest part of being a working parent is finding a trust worthy person to watch your kids when you can’t.

Trusting anyone with your kids is already difficult, but trying to agree with your ex-partner on the person who you BOTH trust to do that is even harder.

So when this user’s trusted babysitter was moving away, him and his wife found themselves at odds when she suggested they pay her boyfriend, and even pay her to watch her own kid!

Was OP wrong to not want her boyfriend, and to refuse to pay her to watch her own child?

AITA for refusing to pay my son’s mom to watch him?

I separated from my 7yo son’s (Sean) mom (Amber). We have 50/50. Our custody agreement have several provisions about who pays for what.

I am on the hook for childcare. We did have a sitter for the last few years but he said he was moving back home in January would obviously not be available after that.

Amber and I both have agree on a lot of things including his sitter so neither she nor I can unilaterally hire someone to watch him.

We were discussing the matter and she found someone to replace our sitter – her boyfriend Jesse.

But OP wasn’t so sure once he heard that Jesse was expecting to be paid…

He moved in with Amber and they’ve been together for a couple of years. She said he WFH and would love to spend time with Sean.

I said is he expecting to be paid? She said of course and the same amount as our current sitter ($28 an hour).

I said absolutely not. I don’t know him well enough and I suspect this was more about my paying your boyfriend to watch our kid than finding a proper sitter.

And considering OP barely knew the man, it was a no from him.

I don’t know how he drives. I don’t feel comfortable with him giving him a bath. I don’t know how reliable he is. I don’t even know if he wants to do it.

There are other things about him that I’m not comfortable with. And I pay our sitter good money because he’s worth it and has a good relationship with our son.

Plus he and I have known each other for like 30 years (we met in middle school!) and would NEVER start a sitter off at $28 an hour.

Regardless, OP pointed out that it’s not like Jesse was unemployed, he had a full time job!

Also I’m not cool with anyone getting paid to watch my kid while on the clock for another job. The whole idea really annoys me.

We got into an argument about it. She insisted that they weren’t trying to double-dip on me (they both think I’m rich and they are having money issues).

We’ve been fighting over it so I said that I’ll take over babysitting stuff. I too WFH and will make it work.

But now it was OP’s wife turn to decline.

She said she didn’t want me in her house and then accused me for trying to save money.

I said no, this is about you trying to make money off watching our kid.

I told her I’m not discussing this until November because it got heated and we have a sitter for another four months.

Unfortunately, her compromise was even more ridiculous than the original plan!

Just yesterday she asked if I’d be open to a compromise of her being the “sitter” on days or times when I have Sean but need a sitter.

I said are you to expect me to pay you? She said yes. I told her no and she’s has to drop this ambition of getting paid to watch her own kid.

She said could take unpaid time off work and that’s why she was suggesting it.

I gotta go with OP here. You want to be paid for watching your own child, or for getting your boyfriend to half-heartedly do it while he’s on the clock?

Reddit first questioned why OP would be watching his son in his ex’s house.