There’s no guidebook for friendship.
Find out how one Redditor handles their close friend’s unexpected pregnancy.
Read the article below to learn more.
AITA for the way I reacted to my friend’s pregnancy?
So I am a 22-year-old university student and (almost) all my friends are 18 – 25 year-old students/recent graduates living in my uni town.
Also, almost all my friends are LGBT and in queer relationships, so there is rarely a pregnancy scare in my friend groups, but when there is it is always a negative thing.
That makes sense. This is a pivotal time in people’s lives.
One of my closest friends from my hometown is 31-year-old Sadie, who is a heterosexual woman.
In the 10 years I have been friends with her, she has never had a serious or long-term relationship, just a series of situationships and one-night stands.
She is financially stable and supports herself/is not a student, but she has always said she never wants kids and never wants to settle down.
Ok, so all signs point to “she’s good with the life she has” right now.
I stayed in my uni town over the summer while I finished my master’s, so I haven’t seen Sadie for a while, but we talk every day, and she’s never said anything about getting into a relationship.
Two weeks ago, we didn’t talk for three days, and I was getting worried about her and then she texted me, randomly at 3 a.m., “I’m pregnant….”
So I responded, “Oh ****! Are we happy or sad about this? Who’s the father?” because I didn’t want to celebrate too soon, as everything I’ve known about her makes me think she wouldn’t be happy about this.
Seems like a reasonable response. How did she react?
She didn’t respond, but over 24 hours later, she called me to chew me out on the phone, telling me why couldn’t I just be happy for her and that it is really rude and disrespectful to ask the questions I did.
I told her that none of my other friends would be happy about it, and she’s always spoken about how she didn’t want kids, so I just wanted to make sure I was reacting properly, and she didn’t sound positive about it in her message.
She said I was psychoanalysing her, and she’s an adult, so she can do whatever she wants and that if I’m going to be negative she doesn’t need me in her life.
If she’d told me she was happy about it, I would’ve been happy for her and supportive; I just didn’t know.
She also said she trusted me by telling me, and she hadn’t told anyone else and also it was really invasive of me to ask about her life (in our entire friendship she’s always told me about her life because we are open like that).
Then, she hung up on me and we haven’t spoken since.
She’s ignored all my texts and calls.
Whoa! That is such a strong reaction to someone who seems to be innocently assessing the situation.
AITA?
I’m worried I’ve lost a close friend over this.
We’ve never fought like this before, but also IDK if what I said was so wrong, so I just wanted to get an outside opinion. Thanks 🙂
This is definitely a make-it-or-break-it friendship moment.
What does Reddit think about it all?
A lot of Redditors understood where the she was coming from.
Many offered advice on how to mend the friendship.
And others noted that she hasn’t been so considerate herself.
This was a big miscommunication.
This friend overreacted and should think twice before she ditches such a considerate bud.
If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.