When you get married, it’s because you want to share a life with that person.

So I found it very strange that this woman’s ex-husband refused to share his belongings with her and even yelled at her when she borrowed one of his pens.

Well, she made sure this would never happen again even while they were still married.

Let’s read the story.

Your pen? You’re right, I should never…

A few decades ago I was living with my then husband, “Joe”, in the California Bay Area.

His mother, back home in New York, was an epic evil mother-in-law (MIL) to me, expressing opposition to my existence even before she & I had met.

Sounds like a classic “boy mom”…

Joe wavered between basking in her constant admiration of him and recoiling from her smothering him.

For me, she never had anything but contempt, and she occasionally managed to manipulate arguments between me & my guy.

MIL telephoned frequently, which I found strange since my parents always left it up to me to call them rather than risk imposing themselves.

MIL had no such qualms.

Her mother-in-law started overstepping more and more.

Joe wanted to avoid her calls, so I was often the one to answer the phone, and I would usually make up some excuse as to why Joe couldn’t be reached right then.

(This was before we got our first answering machine; they weren’t yet common.)

Being an early riser, MIL hated that our lifestyle included sleeping in (until at least 10 AM) on Saturday and Sunday mornings after staying out late on Friday or Saturday nights. (Often dancing at clubs or going to movies.)

Living three time zones ahead of us, MIL felt impatient having to wait to call her precious boy to hear his voice.

(I assume she got him on the phone soon after he got to the office on weekdays, where he couldn’t duck her calls.)

This was getting tiring for both of them.

Pretty much every weekend she would phone us around 7 or 8 AM on a Saturday or Sunday.

Nothing Joe said could dissuade her; she believed that as his mother it was her right, and that we were lucky that she wasn’t calling even earlier.

Being a light sleeper, I’d quickly rise to answer the phone before Joe’s sleep would be disturbed.

I refused to wake him just to let his Mom smother him, and Joe was grateful for my running interference.

She was being an amazing wife and protecting his sleep, but he didn’t appreciate it…

His mother would seethe in helpless fury at my disobedience to her, demanding, Let me talk to MY SON!

Oh heck no.

I wasn’t waking that man, but would be happy to take a message.

Early one Saturday morning MIL actually had a message to leave that required me to get pen & paper, probably a phone number.

I rummaged on Joe’s desk for a pen, then faithfully wrote down the info, and eventually got that awful demanding woman off the phone.

Things hadn’t reached a boiling point yet, but they were about to.

Meanwhile, Joe’s form loomed in the doorway; the sound of my messing with his desk apparently had alarmed him into getting up.

As soon as I hung up, he asked whether I had used his pen.

Yep, I had, so what?

Joe has OCD, which made him good at his detail-oriented job, but a bit of a jerk at home when it came to his personal belongings.

Whatever was his wasn’t to be touched by me, and was cared for meticulously by him; but whatever was mine was used by him, carelessly.

This is a toxic dynamic, and things are about to come to light.

He accidentally broke stuff, but only my stuff.

I tended to ignore his absurd selfish rules about what I could touch of his.

But I was admittedly an absent-minded pen thief (accidentally carrying away whatever pen I had in my hand), so he had good reason to protect his more expensive pens from me.

She was about to be negatively surprised.

Seeing his favorite pen in my hand, Joe became furious, and raised his voice, yelling at me to never again touch his pens.

I tried to protest that I had been doing him a favor, but Joe’s righteous anger kept him ranting.

I was seething at the injustice, and said cooly, “You’re right. What I did was completely wrong.”

Then I grabbed the phone (it was a big heavy thing back then), and started dialing.

Joe suddenly looked uneasy, all anger gone.

Interesting how his energy shifted so fast.

I was calling his mother.

When Joe realized this, he started frantically gesturing at me to stop.

In the sweetest voice (while glaring balefully at my husband) I apologized profusely to MIL for gate-keeping her away from her son.

(Joe slowly put his hands to his head in horror.)

I said that Joe had just now scolded me at length for not putting him on the phone with his mother, and that I had promised him to never do that again.

(Joe theatrically sank to his knees with his clenched hands raised towards me in supplication.)

Wow.

Then the kicker: I told my MIL that Joe is standing here wanting to talk to her, and that I’m giving him the phone now.

Joe would have preferred to be in a dentist’s chair getting drilled than to talk to his clingy mother on the phone, especially first thing in the morning.

He didn’t move for a long moment, while I stood there holding the receiver towards him.

Finally, when the delay had gotten awkward, he reluctantly took the phone and started talking to his Mom.

Now he can play with his pens while he’s on the phone!

For the rest of our (short) marriage, I never again answered the phone early on a weekend morning, nor did I ever again get in the way of Joe’s mother’s calls to her son.

I’d always cheerfully let my mother in law know that he was right here and wanted to speak with her.

This is a petty revenge, alright!

But not more petty than her husband’s regular behavior.

Let’s see what Reddit has to say about this.

A reader shares their thoughts.

Someone saw his behavior as a red flag.

Good observation.

Another commenter chimes in.

A simple compliment.

This person is taking notes.

Yup!

If you are sharing a life, why can’t you share a pen?

Some men just can’t get out of their own way.

If you liked that story, check out this post about a group of employees who got together and why working from home was a good financial decision.