Many schools and teachers use apps to keep parents up to date on activities, classwork, and even pictures from the school day.

How would you feel if you kept sending this information to your ex, but your ex didn’t seem to care?

Would you continue to try to keep your ex updated on your child’s activities and school info, or would you eventually decide that it wasn’t worth it?

In today’s story, a mom is sick of constantly updating her ex about their child’s school info, schedule, performance dates, etc.

He could easily stay up to date himself if he just downloaded a few apps.

So she decided to stop updating him.

Was she wrong?

Let’s read all the details to decide.

AITA for no longer updating my ex on our child’s school stuff?

I split up with my ex almost 2 years ago.

My child started school the same year.

My ex was never too involved in our child’s educational needs- even when she was a toddler.

I handled it all myself.

She asked her ex to download a few important apps.

My child school offers multiple apps and websites.

You can be up to date with everything without ever having to contact anyone.

I asked my ex repeatedly to get at least the main apps, so that I don’t have to keep reminding him of important dates and our child’s progress.

He didn’t care.

She has multiple examples of how her ex is out of the loop.

Just a few examples:

– whenever I asked to make a plan for any school break, he’d ask WHEN the school break is.

I sent him links to the school website, but he couldn’t even be bothered to save a screenshot/ make a note of the dates etc. so he’d ask again next time around too.

– He couldn’t be bothered to update his phone number in the school records, so the office couldn’t contact him during an emergency.

– I informed him about all parent teacher meetings- he said he couldn’t make it, and that it made sense for me to go because he didn’t know the teachers… even in September, when neither of us knew the NEW teachers.

[side note: he doesn’t work, I do, so I thought it was logical to have him attend, so I wouldn’t have to take time off work to do so]

I’m impressed by how much this mom really tried to keep the dad involved.

– I’d send him any important dates- school plays, any shows, sports events etc.- he’d pick and choose the ones not involving much interaction- reading together on the world book day was a no go, but watching the kids race was okay etc.

– I’d even invite him to events organized by any clubs my kids is in (clubs I organized and paid for myself), but he always had an excuse unless the events fell on “his weekends,” even then he’d sometimes ask me to swap the weekends.

I accepted it for over a year for the sake of peace.

I wanted my kid to see her dad support her achievements too.

She decided to stop trying so hard.

But it’s been so long and I’m just tired of having to both handle the responsibility AND remember to give him updates about it.

It also felt like I was trying to make him involved when he clearly wasn’t interested…

So last autumn I announced to him, that it was on him to stay up to date with our child’s school stuff.

She still gave him a lot of information.

I gave him 2 weeks to get everything sorted.

I even listed all the important apps / websites so he wouldn’t miss anything.

(the only one I didn’t share was a payment portal, as I knew he wouldn’t care about that one).

I promised to still share any information passed via written notes / letters etc., as obviously he would not have access to those otherwise.

Now he finally cares.

I followed through with it.

It took him 2 months to realize what’s happened and now he’s furious saying that I’m using the child against him.

He got his family involved and now they are all bombarding me with texts saying that I’m the jerk for doing it to him and our child.

His mother also pointed out that she’d done everything herself as well and didn’t involve her husband in the school stuff.

So she knows it’s not that hard and I’m being dramatic.

AITA?

She should’ve done this from the beginning – give him the list of apps and info and stop reiterating the same information over and over again.

He’s a grown man. He can figure it out. Let’s see how Reddit responded to this story.

This person shares a message to give the ex-MIL.

Another person suggests blocking the ex’s family.

This is a good point.

Another reader thinks it’s obvious why they broke up.

A teacher weighs in…

He obviously doesn’t want to be involved.

She can’t make him, even if she holds his hand the whole time.

If you liked this post, you might want to read this story about a teacher who taught the school’s administration a lesson after they made a sick kid take a final exam.