One teacher finds out she wasn’t invited to her coworker’s birthday party when the gift-buying discussion happens without her.

After sending a birthday message, she skips the event to avoid showing up uninvited.

Now? She’s being frozen out by the entire group.

Check out the deails.

AITA for not going to my coworker’s birthday party?

So I (24F) work at a high school with my co-workers Carrie (29F), Leslie (26F) and Marissa (30F).

All of us get along well, we eat lunch together everyday and go out for drinks to destress from work lol.

Leslie and Marissa are a lot closer to Carrie than I am for context.

Two weeks ago, Carrie made a group chat with our co-workers for her 29th birthday party but I wasn’t included.

I didn’t know until Leslie asked me what present I was buying for Carrie.

Nothing like finding out you’re not invited after being asked to chip in for the gift!

When I told Leslie that I didn’t know about the party, she asked me if I was arguing with Carrie.

Honestly I wasn’t mad about not being invited.

Me and Carrie aren’t that close and she can choose whoever she wants as her birthday guests.

Leslie told me the date and place of Carrie’s party but I didn’t plan to go because I don’t want to be rude and come uninvited.

Last Saturday was Carrie’s birthday.

I sent her a happy birthday message and hope that she enjoys her day.

Carrie said thank you and we had a small conversation about her plans.

I didn’t get an invite from her so I decided to stay home.

Nothing says “we’re work friends, not real friends” like a missing party invite.

On Sunday, I got some text messages from Marissa that went like this:

Marissa: “Hey why didn’t you go to Carrie’s bday party last night?”

Me: “Oh I’m not in her group chat so I thought that I wasn’t invited”

Marissa: “didn’t Leslie tell you where it was? You could’ve shown up…”

Me: “Yeah but Carrie didn’t invite me, I don’t want to be rude by coming without her knowing”

Marissa: “But still we’re coworker besties… you should’ve asked Carrie if you could go”

Me: “If Carrie wanted me at her bday she would have told me. We talked yesterday morning”

(convo ended there)

Today’s now Friday (5 days since then) and the three of them completely avoid me.

We used to eat lunch together in the staff lounge but now they eat in Carrie’s classroom.

And whenever I pass one of them during morning duty they just stare and ignore.

Guess they took the “out of sight, out of mind” approach a little too literally.

The past few days were really rough and I’ve cried during my lunches because they were my support system since I started teaching.

I genuinely thought we were friends but now I’m just rethinking about everything.

AITA for not going?

Seems like Carrie’s birthday party was more of a “choose your side” event than a celebration? Let’s see what Reddit thinks…

This person says she did nothing wrong, and these girls are not handling it right.

This person says it’s probably for the best (even though she isn’t the AH).

This person has some solid advice.

Guess it’s official…

Being a coworker isn’t quite the same as being a friend when the invites don’t come your way.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.