When someone does well for themselves in life, you can count on the fact that family members will be looking for a payday once they’ve left their mortal coil behind.

What would you do if you had a lot of family that was always looking to borrow money and not paying it back in return?

The uncle in this story experienced this throughout his life, so he made sure his Last Will and Testament accounted for their actions.

Check it out.

“They want my money… OOPS!”

Backstory

In WWII, my Uncle Haj was an engineer with the RAF.

He rapidly climbed the ranks and ended up being the head engineer at a local base.

After the war, he met his wife of 45 years, Eve.

It was the typical post-war relationship, without children though due to complications.

He quickly found a job at our village coal mine, known locally as The pit.

He went from engineer to foreman very quickly; the man had a knack for leadership, that’s for sure.

At least he got to travel.

He and Eve, some of his RAF buddies and his Sister, my grandmother, often went to Spain for holidays, at least once/year before they all retired, after that, whenever they felt like it.

The ‘Family’

The unfortunate truth is that family isn’t always nice.

My Grandmother was his only surviving direct family, Eve on the other hand, had a large family.

Very. large.

The trouble with large families, is that often there’s a few bad eggs.

In this case, it was quicker to count the good ones.

As Haj would put it; “The trouble with eggs is, you can only tell the good ones by spinning ’em quick, or dunking them in water… I don’t fancy going to prison”.

More often than not, Eve’s family would drop by and ask to borrow money.

Not from Eve, she had none.

Haj had always been industrious; saving as much as he could and only really spending what he had to, other than the holidays of course.

The “incident”

When I hit 18 (legal drinking age in the UK) he took me for my first beer, as my Dad worked nights and had to sleep.

He didn’t drink, which was uncommon for him, as he was a regular at the working men’s club we were in.

Me: “Haj, how come you’re not drinking? I can’t in good conscience drink your money without you getting a sniff”

That must have been difficult to hear.

Haj: “Well, I suppose one can’t hurt. Don’t tell Nip (his name for my Grandmother, Sheila), but I’ve just been diagnosed with Diabetes Type 2; don’t want to take any chances”

Me: “I’ll keep your secret, but you need to tell her, just on the off-chance.”

Haj: “I’ll tell her in good time kiddo, now get it down you before it goes flat”

Neither of us took much notice to the people around us, so we didn’t notice Eve’s Nephew in the corner.

[5 years pass, I’ve seen him a few times (less than I’d like) because of work and him going overseas]

The Buildup

I visited my grandparents one day to find my Grandmother sobbing, with Haj sat on the sofa.

Haj: “Put the kettle on kid, I need to tell you something”

[I make a coffee for Gran & Grandad, Hot Chocolate for me and Green Tea for Haj]

Haj: “Now listen up, I’ve not got long on this wretched planet, but you’re not to cry over me. I’ve been diagnosed with late-stage cancer, and couldn’t be happier to be leaving.

[To Gran]: Sorry Nip, I know you don’t want to hear this but it has to be said. You and yours will be looked after of course, but you’re not to tell Eve and her family.

[To everyone] I’ve made up a new will. I want everyone to go to the reading, I’ve prepared a little ‘gift’ for the family.

Shortly after this chat, we found out he passed away.

How sad.

We kept it from my Grandmother that he’d taken his own life, it’d destroy her.

Let it be said that Haj was always a man independent of others.

He made his choice so Gran wouldn’t suffer seeing him deteriorate over time.

The Revenge

We went to the reading as a family like he asked; its the only thing he ever asked of us.

We’d seen people we never met, never even heard of, so of course, there were some sullen scowls across the table.

A good Will is so important.

Lawyer: “Now that we’re all here, please watch this video, Haj has a message for you all”

Haj from beyond: “Now then; I imagine this will be a shock to most of you, but I had cancer. If you’re watching this, I want you to know that some of you made my last few years pleasant. Others; well, we’ll get to you.

[To my side of the family] Not one of you came to me asking if I was alright or wanted anything doing. Instead, you asked if I wanted a hand with anything; for this, I thank you.

I’ve never had anyone do anything for me unless they were my underlings in the RAF, and I didn’t aim to start when I found out I was on my way out.

You knew me better than most of my “close family” I’ll tell you if something’s wrong; good on you.

Now then, let’s get to the good bit!

[To Eve’s family] You lot, where do I begin?

When I took our Nip’s grandson out for his first pint, apparently the walls have ears and one of you overheard me tell him I had Diabetes.

Shame you had to say ‘It’s a shame it wasn’t Cancer’.

Guess you got your wish, eh?

The rest of you; whenever you visited me you asked more often than not if you could borrow money.

It’s fine, I didn’t mind lending it to you, but I did expect to get it back.

So, here’s how this is going to work; I’ve split my money and put it in trust with my oldest friend [the lawyer].

Nobody is getting a thing till Eve pops her clogs, so don’t bother asking.

Eve can stay in the house I worked for until she either passes or has to go into care for any reason.

The house is not to be sold until after she passes; lazy as she is, she’s still my wife.

Once she goes, the house is to be sold at a reasonable price to the next owners, and the money from that is to be added to the total for my finances, and split with the family.

Eve’s is her own and she can do with it what she wants, other than add it to my total; [lawyer] has been left instructions on this.

Now, here’s how it’ll be split;

• If you’ve borrowed money from me and paid it back, you’ll get a fair share based on your age at the time of my passing
• If you haven’t repaid the money you borrowed; you’ll still get a cut, MINUS what you owe me. For some of you, I hope you know I’m laughing at your squirming from beyond the grave; deserves you right
• Nip, my only living family: You’ll get the lion’s share of whatever is there, to be done with what you will. If you’re not wanting to keep it, [lawyer] has been paid for any services you may require. Trust him, he’s a good lad & saved me on more than one occasion in the war
• Nip’s Sons will get a decent chunk to help with whatever you need, and your children will be provided for as well. To [my Mum], not once have I heard anything bad about you; you’re getting a cut too; like it or lump it.
• OP, you’ve been a great help the last couple of weeks. I called you unfairly at 3AM to help me out of the bath after finally giving up getting myself out; sorry you had to see that. You didn’t have to help the next day with the decorating either; if you weren’t already on your career path, you’d make a fine tradesman. You will receive a cut to be determined by the near future’s events; use it how you will.

To the rest of you, I’m utterly disgusted to have known you.

I mentioned earlier that Eve can live in the house till she passes or is put into residential care; if either of these happens, NOBODY is to live in the house.

I don’t want anyone I don’t trust in there.

Now quit your crying and go about your lives,

Haj”

I’m sure some of them were pretty upset.

As you can imagine, people kicked up a stink about this.

We nodded to the lawyer and left.

Shortly after the funeral, Eve went into a retirement home (with her own money, Haj’s was locked up as per his request); she had more than enough to keep her afloat for many more years.

A couple of months down the line, we all got called back to the lawyer’s office, a little bemused.

Again, we’re directed to watch a video;

Haj: “I’m not surprised that this video has been played, some of you just don’t follow orders.

If you’re watching this, it means that someone I don’t trust was found to be living in MY house.

I don’t care who it is, [lawyer] has instructions of what to do next.

But for the sake of his voice and sanity; whoever was found in the house against my wishes is now stricken from the will entirely.

If the others feel they want to share their money with you, that’s their loss; you’ll not get a penny from me”.

As it turns out, my cousin (who bullied me in school) and her family (as in her on-and-off boyfriend, 2 kids and a dog) had moved into the house after convincing Eve to move out because they ‘needed’ the house.

Great planning Haj.

What they hadn’t counted on, is nosey neighbors.

Haj asked them to watch the house, and if they saw anyone new in there, or any signs of moving, to report to the lawyer for updates; in return, they’d get a cut of the money he had; they’re good people.

The lesson?

Don’t anger a war vet.

That was a pretty satisfying tale.

Read on to see what the people in the comments think about the story.

He was a genius.

This might be a good idea.

This commenter has lots of respect for Haj.

He was a great man.

This person says the estate lawyer must have had fun.

Uncle Haj thought of everything.

With some families, you have to do it.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a customer who insists that their credit card works, and finds out that isn’t the case.