
Reddit/Pexels
Some people want kids, some people don’t, and that’s okay.
In this man’s case, he doesn’t want to be that involved in his nephew’s life, but his sister, who is a single mom, thinks he’s in the wrong for it.
Should he take on a more active role?
Let’s analyze the situation.
AITA For being upfront about the fact that I will not be doing things with my nephew or being the “fun uncle” since I don’t like kids and never agreed to be the “fun uncle?”
My sister Lauren is pregnant with a boy who she is planning to name “David”.
Long story short, David’s father, Bryan, is a loser and my sister is not going to be getting any help from him.
Lauren has been talking a lot about how a boy needs a father figure, David’s going to look for mentorship in the wrong places unless family steps up.
There are also some more obvious statements that show she expects me to be the “fun uncle” type with David.
He does not like that at all.
I don’t want any confusion in the future, so I told Lauren upfront how I’m not going to be the “fun uncle” type or have any parental role with David.
I’ll be polite at any family events and send a gift for his birthday/xmas but that’s it.
It’s not personal, I’ve just never liked kids.
I find them annoying, and I don’t want to ever be responsible for one.
His brothers-in-law took a different approach.
Bryan’s brother Andrew wants to be involved.
He has two young kids who he wants David to grow up with and have a strong relationship with the cousins.
Our own brother George also wants to be involved.
So I told Lauren how David has plenty of adult male figures without me.
Lauren launched into me saying that uncles still isn’t the same as an actual father and David needs all the support he can get since Bryan won’t be here.
She accused me of flaking out on my own blood.
It’s his choice not to take a more active role, but she disagrees.
I have my own life and wasn’t going to be involved regardless of the situation with Bryan.
I’ve always been upfront that I wasn’t going beyond holiday gifts and other basic politeness.
Besides, Andrew and George will be involved uncles, so I don’t get why this pressure is on me.
They kept arguing.
Lauren argued that hosting him for a sleepover or taking him to a museum isn’t asking the world.
Realistically, one polite but distant uncle won’t have any negative impact on a kid, and I can’t be “flaking out” of a commitment that I never agreed to take in the first place.
AITA?
In my opinion, this could be a “dad who didn’t want to adopt the cat but now loves it” kind of situation.
But his sister’s pushing him might actually push him away.
Let’s see how Reddit feels about this.
A reader shares their thoughts.
This commenter shares their opinion.
An uncle chimes in.
Someone shares a similar opinion.
Someone shares their point of view on the matter.
Yup.
She’s getting ahead of herself.
Letting things happen naturally is probably the best course of action here.
If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.