Regardless of whether you’re a birthday person or not, your twenty-first is a big deal.

Not only because of the drinking either! Turning twenty-one is a milestone that symbolizes your full entry into adulthood.

And that is something that is always worth celebrating.

So when the man in this story saw his birthday plans neglected and overshadowed by his family, there’s no wonder he was upset.

Read on to discover everything he was expected to compromise on.

AITA for telling my parents I don’t want to share my birthday with my baby cousin?

I am a 20-year-old man, and recently my parents decided that our whole family (including extended family) should take a trip to Florida for a reunion.

My cousin and her husband live down there, and she is the party planner of the family, along with my mom.

The issue is, the main reason they wanted to have this reunion in the first place is because it coincides with my cousin’s 11 month old son’s birthday.

So the majority of my mom’s side of the family has planned this big (and I mean BIG) celebration for him, and seemingly completely overlooked the fact that me and him share a birthday.

Read on to see how his this neglect of his special day extended further.

I asked my mom if anyone remembered that it’ll also be my 21st, and she said that my party is in the evening after my baby cousin’s.

But he goes to bed no later than 7pm, and my cousin’s house (where my party is supposed to be, too) has to be virtually silent for him to stay asleep.

I asked how we’re gonna celebrate my 21st if we have to be super quiet to not wake him up and was told, “we’ll just have to work around it.”

Add to this the fact that my extended family routinely forgets to include me in things like presents at Christmas (one year my aunt and uncle picked me up a $20 gift card literally 30 minutes before we were supposed to exchange presents, when they got everyone else thoughtful gifts) and it makes me feel like I’m once again pushed to the side.

Let’s see how this situation has left the man feeling.

I don’t want to sound selfish, but turning 21 is a big deal for me, and I’d like if my birthday can be about me, too.

My parents have also said that the rules in their house (i.e. the rule that I’m not allowed to drink) applies for my cousin’s house, even though my cousin is fine with me HAVING A DRINK ON MY 21ST.

They’ve also said my boyfriend can’t come with us, so I can’t even celebrate my birthday with him either.

The whole thing has left him conflicted.

Don’t get me wrong, I really do want to go see my immediate family like my grandma on this trip, but I’ve not been included in ANY of the planning, and no one even asked what I want to do for my birthday or if I had any objections to sharing the last of my “important” birthdays with my baby cousin.

My parents will say I’m selfish if I bring any of this up to them as a reason why I don’t want to go, because to them, it’s more important that my cousin has a perfect first birthday for her son.

I want her to have that too, just not at the expense of making me feel like I don’t matter.

Let’s see the turmoil that the situation has him in.

To them, I should be able to accept the way things are regardless of my own wishes for my birthday because “not everything’s about you.”

Yeah, I know it’s not. That’s kinda the point.

For once on my 21st birthday, I’d like it to be about me. Is that so bad?

AITA?

Let’s be real, this isn’t just any birthday – its his twenty-first.

That far surpasses a baby’s first birthday – especially since they have very little concept of what is really going on.

The way in which this man has been pushed aside, and is expected to follow all these rules on his special day, is totally unfair.

Let’s see what Reddit had to say about this.

Many Redditors stuck up for the man.

While this person was suspicious about his parents motives, and suggested a firm approach.

And others encouraged him to make his own plans.

Sure, it’s nice to celebrate a baby’s first birthday – and to the baby’s parents, it seems like the most important thing in the world.

But this shouldn’t be at the expense of a twenty-first birthday, and the real milestone that that represents.

Nor should his parents be dictating his celebrations; it’s totally unfair.

Why can’t his boyfriend come? And why can’t he have a drink? It’s his twenty-first birthday!

He deserves better.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.