In workplace environments, respect and personal boundaries are critical to everyone’s comfort and success.

But for one man, repeated inappropriate behavior from a colleague created a hostile atmosphere that he could no longer ignore.

But his preemptive report to HR stirred up even more controversy than he expected.

Read on for the full story!

AITA for Pre-Emptively Going to HR to Report a Co-worker?

I work in an office building with a rather well-paying job that took several years of education to get (pay is in the low 6-figures). It’s a great job that makes me feel like I’m doing more than just paperwork.

Bottom line is, I really love this job and probably won’t be able to find anything else like it.

Soon an uncomfortable dynamic with another coworker began to brew.

I’m eating lunch with some co-workers, and this girl from a neighboring department joins us. After a while, when other people are breaking up into their own little conversation bubbles, she turns to me and says she likes how I look.

I say, “Thanks,” and then go back to eating.

She touches my shoulder and says, “You alright?”

I nod, “Yeah,” and go back to eating and listening to other people talk.

Her advances started getting less and less subtle.

On another day, she says, “Wow, you keep in shape. You must work out” (which I do).

I say, “Thanks,” and go back to lunch.

She gets closer and says, “So how do you do it?” I just keep giving short, direct answers.

Point is, I don’t have any interest in dating co-workers. There’s a saying: “Don’t **** where you eat.”

I’ve heard of people getting fired when workplace relationships turn sour and things get awkward or hostile. I love this job, and I don’t wanna do anything to compromise it.

Then it happened again.

The third time this happens (on another day), she asks me when I get off work. (Schedule is publicly posted so she could find out if she really wanted to.)

I say, “Probably when I feel like *****ing myself.”

That was a baaaaad joke, but she laughed anyway and said I was funny.

Then she put her hand on my knee.

This time, he tries to let her down easy.

I gave out this awkward laugh and shifted away. She asked me if everything was alright, and I looked at her and said, “Maybe you shouldn’t do that again.”

We just stared at each other for a while before she got up and left.

But feeling rejected, she starts stirring up trouble with some gossip.

Later, I heard she was telling people I couldn’t take a compliment and that I made her feel “uncomfortable.”

Some of my coworkers didn’t believe it, mostly because they were there, but the others weren’t, so they just believed what they heard first.

He tries to smooth things over, which ends up making things worse.

I went to her to talk about it, but she said I made it clear that I didn’t want anything to do with her and to leave her alone, otherwise I was “harassing” her.

The moment she said that word, that set off red alarms in my head, and I headed to HR.

It was his turn to give his version of events, but he didn’t find their investigation very thorough.

I gave them my side of the story, and I heard later on that they interviewed co-workers that I said were there at each incident.

Afterwards, they said the investigation was closed and that no further action would be taken, but they will keep a record of this for future incidents.

The drama continued.

When the girl heard about this, she was ticked.

She said I was trying to destroy her career, that I was taking advantage of her (she never explained how), and how hard she worked to get here.

Suddenly, he became the villain in everyone else’s eyes.

She started breaking down and crying. Everyone was looking at me.

I just sat there, eyes wide, until she and another co-worker left the room together.

I understand the irony of the situation.

AITA for pre-emptively going to HR to report a co-worker?

It’s the ol’ “He said, she said” here.

What did Reddit have to say?

This commenter thinks this employee is doing exactly the right thing.

HR didn’t exactly knock this one out of the park.

It’s only natural for him to doubt himself after his coworker’s attempts to guilt and villainize him.

Workplaces just shouldn’t mix with physical advances.

The decision to involve HR wasn’t an easy one, but it was necessary.

He did what he had to do to protect both himself and his reputation.

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