August 9, 2025 at 9:23 am

Her Nonverbal Friend Made Working On A Project Difficult, So She Got Angry With Him Even Though She Tried Not To

by Matthew Gilligan

two young people arguing

Shutterstock/Reddit

In my humble opinion, working on a group project with ANYONE is a nightmare, so I can appreciate where this young woman is coming from.

And her project partner, who also happens to be her friend, presented her with a whole lot of challenges when they worked together.

Was she a jerk because she got angry with him?

Read on to get all the details below.

AITA for getting fed up with my nonverbal friend?

“I (19F) have been friends with Andy (19M) ever since third grade. There’s a lot of history between us.

This guy has a lot of problems.

Andy has autism, OCD, and intense agoraphobia. He tends to shut down in situations requiring quick critical thinking or conflict negotiation. I’ve never minded that, and I avoid inviting him to crowded places or socially intensive events.

The one time he invited me to a convention, it was fun but exhausting. I had to guide him around while he was nonverbal and indecisive.

It wasn’t until we worked together on a time-limited competition that I remembered how frustrating this can be.

This was not a good situation.

Over the three-day event, we were supposed to draft and execute an idea, evenly splitting the work. I kept asking him questions about our ideas and what we should do. He often gave one-sentence answers or went non-verbal for minutes, which built up deep frustration in me.

I brought it up, asking how he felt about the project. He admitted he wasn’t invested and was mostly doing it to make me happy, which confused me since it had originally been his idea. I had asked him if he was okay with it before we began.

I told him he needs to communicate when something bothers him. Partners need to collaborate and compromise. He agreed, and I thought it would be fine.

Then came submission hour. I told him I was submitting our project. He disagreed and asked me to edit a part. I did.

Hmmm…

Then he asked to edit another part. I said we needed to submit or we’d miss the deadline, but he insisted submission would be quick. I edited again.

He asked again. I finally put my foot down and tried to submit 20 minutes before the deadline. Everything went wrong. We didn’t submit on time.

Maybe I should have just trusted my gut, but every time I disagree with Andy, he shuts down. Each time I suggested submitting instead of editing, his tone got upset and he grew quiet.

That is the issue. Either he does not say what is bothering him, or when he does, he expects me to go along with it or he gets sulky and withdrawn.

Then he always blames himself, saying he is a terrible person who cannot control his reactions, which drives me insane.

I had to ask for an apology that didn’t include him demeaning himself. I asked him to say what happened and apologize. He said, “What do you want me to say?” and I had to spell it out. “I want an apology where you don’t demean yourself, just say what happened, and actually apologize.”

Things are awkward now.

Now we are here. Avoiding each other. Every time I try to explain my feelings in the most non-accusatory way possible, he just says, “I don’t know what to say.”

I know he struggles with conflict, but it feels like I am coaxing a child.”

Reddit users shared their thoughts.

This person thinks they all SUCK.

Screenshot 2025 07 08 at 9.03.27 AM Her Nonverbal Friend Made Working On A Project Difficult, So She Got Angry With Him Even Though She Tried Not To

Another reader said she’s NTA.

Screenshot 2025 07 08 at 9.03.39 AM Her Nonverbal Friend Made Working On A Project Difficult, So She Got Angry With Him Even Though She Tried Not To

This Reddit user weighed in.

Screenshot 2025 07 08 at 9.03.55 AM Her Nonverbal Friend Made Working On A Project Difficult, So She Got Angry With Him Even Though She Tried Not To

Another person chimed in.

Screenshot 2025 07 08 at 9.04.10 AM Her Nonverbal Friend Made Working On A Project Difficult, So She Got Angry With Him Even Though She Tried Not To

And this individual said she’s NTA.

Screenshot 2025 07 08 at 9.04.19 AM Her Nonverbal Friend Made Working On A Project Difficult, So She Got Angry With Him Even Though She Tried Not To

To be honest, she put up with a lot before she got angry with her friend.

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