After a year of living with friends in a two-bedroom unit he helped secure, this grad-student-turned-full-time-worker is being nudged to relocate—so a mutual friend can take his place.

The catch? He’d have to pay higher rent, a new deposit, and still cover utilities…all while giving up the more affordable space he already calls home.

Read on for the story.

WIBTA for telling my roommates I don’t want to move?

I (24M) have been living in a small suburban leaning rural town since August of 2023. I moved here for graduate school and am staying here to work, as I’ve just gotten a full time job.

This town has less than 20k people, and only one major apartment building that I make too much money to live in (income restricted).

The house I live in is split into two units. The upper unit is 1bd,1ba while the lower unit is 2bd,2ba. When I moved here, I lived in the upper unit.

Doesn’t sound so bad.

Enter my friends and current roommates, Harry and Beth, a couple. When my lease was almost up after a full year of living upstairs, Harry and Beth proposed that we all move in downstairs. Harry had just graduated undergrad, while Beth only had a year and one semester left.

Cut to now, July of 2025: we have been living in the lower unit for almost a year now. Our mutual friend Jane is going back to school, and she has to move to our town because she’s a GA at the school. She will have to get a second job because of how little her other position pays.

Here’s the conflict: Harry and Beth want me to move upstairs so that Jane can live downstairs, in my old room. The rationale for this is, like I said: I have a full time job now. Jane will not.

Hmm, all right…

Our landlord sold the property to another owner who wants to raise prices.

If I stayed downstairs, my rent would only increase by about 130 something per month, and he’s willing to include another utility with that.

If I moved upstairs, I would have to pay about 260 more (and that was after I negotiated to bring the upper unit’s rent DOWN).

Oof, what a blow.

Other things that are irking me about this: I paid the safety deposit for this apartment when we signed last year. If I move upstairs, I have to pay the first month of rent and the safety deposit while Harry, Beth, and Jane will only have to pay that first month while the landlord holds onto my own money.

I pay all the utilities as they are, as well. Not to mention, Beth never paid for rent, it was split between me and Harry and Beth was never on the original lease.

I want to tell them that I don’t want to move, that I don’t feel financially secure enough to pay that much more in rent.

Not the most financially easy decision.

Before I negotiated with the landlord about price I was putting my foot down about it, but then when the price came down a little, I started to be swayed.

WIBTA if I just officially put my foot down and said no, I’m not moving?

I don’t want to tell Jane that she can find her own place to stay that’s cheaper or try to manage living upstairs on potentially unstable income, but I feel like I’m carrying most of the financial weight here and I feel like my only other option is to move out myself and find someplace cheaper in town.

While helping a friend is admirable, being guilted into taking a financial hit for someone else’s situation isn’t fair—especially when he’s already shouldering utilities and wasn’t the one pushing for a change.

At least, that’s what Reddit thinks.

This person says OP is NTA, and he is not selfish.

This person advises not to feel guilty.

And this person has a suggestion.

He pays the bills, holds the lease, and they want him to move?

Sounds like the only one downsizing here is his patience.

If you liked that post, check this one about a guy who got revenge on his condo by making his own Christmas light rules.