After a long, emotional IVF journey, one couple is finally preparing to welcome a baby girl—and the naming process is getting intense.

The mom-to-be already compromised on giving their daughter a middle name to honor her late mother-in-law, but now she wants final say on the first name.

Her husband? Not on board.

Is she being unfair…or is he?

AITAH for telling my husband I should have last say on our daughter’s first name?

Here’s some background, I (31F) and my husband (30M) are in the middle of an IVF Cycle. We are about a month and a half away from our FET (frozen embryo transfer), which will hopefully result in our first pregnancy.

Its been a really long, emotionally and physically tiring process. I’ve have to have multiple surgeries including having part of my reproductive system removed, and have had to do self injections 3x a day and for multiple weeks at a time.

When we started the egg retrieval process we had 17 follicles (eggs are in follicles, but not every follicle contains an egg), that turned into 7 eggs retrieved, 6 eggs mature, 3 that fertilized, 2 that became embryos and after additional genetic testing only 1 embryo that is viable.

Whew!

It’s been a lot. We are very fortunate to have one even 1 embryo, and we are very thankful. Anywho, this embryo is a girl and its all very exciting.

We both decided early on that our child/children would have both our last names, my husbands followed by mine, and they wouldn’t have a middle name. Just to keep things less complicated. This was more a me thing, I don’t really see the purpose of a middle name, just seems useless to me.

However, very suddenly and unexpectedly we lost my husband’s mother. She was literally a Saint on earth. Before she passed, my husband made a promise to her that he would give her first and middle name (Mary + Lynn = Marilyn) as our daughters middle name. We discussed this and I agreed to let him give our daughter a middle name in remembrance of his sweet amazing mama.

So sweet.

Back to the first name. We have a list of about 3 names we really like for a first name, and today I shared one I fell in love with, Rosalia. I mentioned it to my husband, and he was neutral on it.

I told him I think because he’s decided on the middle name, which I originally didn’t want any of our children to have, that I should be able to have the final say on the first name. And everything kindof took off from there.

He told me we wont name our daughter without both agreeing on it. I said its only fair, if he chose one name and I choose the other.

Hmmm…

Mind you, we both agree on a number of names, and I’d never name my child anything to spite him.

I told him he’s being unreasonable by not being willing to compromise on this, and he said its rude and crazy if I choose a name without considering his feelings and opinions.

So reddit, AITAH?

Redditors were torn—while many understood the emotional weight of the middle name, others pointed out that naming a child is usually a two-yes, one-no situation.

This person says both people need to agree, period.

This person has been through IVF and still thinks OP is being irrational.

And this person says two yes-es or it doesn’t happen.

This guy needs to get a grip. He’s not even having the kid!

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