What would you do if your partner never wanted to go on vacation? Would you resign yourself to never traveling, or would you plan a vacation by yourself?

One Redditor weighs his options after his wife repeatedly shuts down his attempts to go on vacation.

Let’s read the whole story.

WIBTH for going on vacation without my wife and son?

I (38M) and my wife (39F) have a 4-year-old son.

For the last two years, I’ve been trying to plan a family vacation — and every time, I’ve been shut down.

Now, I’m thinking of giving my wife an ultimatum: either she takes time off to go on vacation with me and our son, or I’m going to go somewhere by myself for a week.

WIBTA?

But, here’s the real deal…

Some background:

For most of the last two years, I’ve been the primary parent — handling daycare drop-offs and pick-ups, getting our son ready in the morning, and bedtime about 90% of the time.

I’ve also been the main income earner (income split around 60/40 or 70/30).

As a result of that and general life pressures I’ve burned out.

And the OP is also looking for hope.

What I really want is something to look forward to — a chance to reset personally and as a family.

But every time I try to plan something, my wife says no.

She often says her job is “super flexible” and has even claimed they’d pay for her to take a vacation.

But my experience says otherwise — or more likely, she’s unwilling to go, unless she’s in control.

This isn’t a new conversation.

Two years ago, I told her I was struggling and asked for a vacation.

She said it didn’t work for her.

Last year, I went on mental health leave/reduced hours for two months.

I asked again — she said we needed to wait to see if I’d keep my job.

And the OP has kept track of his asks. But there’s always an excuse from her.

Once I had confirmation, I brought it up again in August.

Her response: she was too busy. She said there was no time for her to take vacation during the last five months of the year.

But now? The OP has a completely different job.

Fast forward to now: I lost that job earlier this year, but recently secured a new one that starts in the fall.

This summer is my only real chance to take time off before starting, since I won’t have vacation days again until next year.

When I brought this up, she said she couldn’t take time off because others at work already were.

When I said we’d need to take vacations during the summer going forward — since our son will be in school — she said she’ll never be able to take vacation in the summer and suggested Christmas instead.

So, the husband is getting serious about his vacation plans — with or without her.

At this point, I’m thinking of telling her I’m going on vacation this summer, and if she won’t come, I’ll go alone — and she’ll need to handle parenting solo for a week.

Ideally, I’d rather go with my son, but I feel like, if I do, she’ll never feel pressure to join and this will become the norm.

I’m hoping she’ll realize how much she’s opted out of parenting and family planning.

This last part is the kicker…

Two final things:

She’s gone on four girls’ trips (Fri–Mon) over the last two years — so it’s not that she can’t travel, just not with me and our kid.

Money isn’t a factor. We’ve got good savings, and my severance pays me through year-end.

So — WIBTA if I gave her this ultimatum?

Does Reddit think this wife’s behavior is odd? Let’s read the comments below to see what people are saying.

One Redditor said this OP was merely the “baby daddy.”

Another reader said directness is key.

One commenter suggested therapy.

And finally, people flagged that this seemed en route to divorce.

This couple has deeper issues well past a vacation.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.