After a messy divorce decades ago, one sibling drifted away from their father’s side of the family, feeling abandoned and awkward as a teen.

Recently, a younger cousin asked why, and they gave her the full story.

Now, the truth has stirred up old wounds and sparked new arguments among the extended family.

Check it out.

AITA for not maintaining relationships with my father’s side of the family and letting my little cousin know why?

I (40sF) have not maintained relationships/visited with my aunts/uncles/cousins on my dad’s side of the family.

I have one younger cousin (30sF) I chat with sometimes, but it’s surface level. She asked me recently why I don’t talk to anyone else or visit (besides distance being a big factor).

I explained to her that when my mother divorced my dad when I was a young teen, his siblings cut off contact with my mother, and by association, me since I lived with her.

Deep.

They stayed in touch with my older brothers (they are godparents, my godparents were friends of my mom’s, and my brothers were grown and out of the house).

I spent one week of one summer vacation visiting them with my dad-mainly visiting my grandpa, who stayed in touch and didn’t shun my mom, and he had me bring a friend with me so I’d have someone to hang out with.

We used to spend a week or more every single summer with them and big family holidays before the divorce and I felt like we were close.

But it was incredibly awkward, and I felt like collateral damage in their attempts to cut my mom out.

Ouch.

About 8 years after the divorce, we were all together at my brother’s wedding and my aunt (by marriage) said it was good to see me again and she was sorry about how things went down.

I appreciated that, but it didn’t really change the fact that I felt like I had gone from having a large extended family to only having my mom’s side due to their silence.

I really could have used their support and love during my teen years and I had felt abandoned by them.

100%.

Once my cousin (the child of the aunt that did apologize) learned why I disappeared from family stuff she confronted her parents and our 2 other aunts about it and they got annoyed and called my dad complaining that I was causing trouble.

I’m of the opinion that if telling the truth about your actions makes you mad, you’ve probably done something you shouldn’t.

Now my cousin is mad at her dad and our aunts for their behavior (which really, was like 25+ years ago and I’m past it, but I’m not going to go out of my way to rebuild).

Oh, come on.

AITA for telling my cousin the truth?

Most of me thinks no, but part of me feels guilty that the truth has impacted her relationships with family after all this time.

Being honest with the cousin was justified, but it’s reignited decades-old family tension. Reddit, is speaking the truth really worth the chaos it causes?

This persons ays they have no reason to be mad.

This person says the truth is never a bad thing.

This person says she asked, he answered…nothing to see here, move along.

Sometimes the truth isn’t just uncomfortable—it’s a full-blown family fireworks show.

That’s how things go sometimes.

If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.