Hey, let’s just call the whole thing off!

Even though it can be painful, sometimes doing that is the best course of action.

If you had to choose between spending time with your family before leaving for a military deployment or spending the night on the couch at your friend’s house before her wedding, which would you choose?

This woman felt the choice was obvious, but her friend gave her an ultimatum. Now, she’s not sure what to do.

Read on, and see what you think!

WIBTA If I choose to not attend my (29F) friend’s (29F) wedding in 3 days despite being a bridesmaid?

“My friend is getting married this weekend and I am in her bridal party.

She asked a month ago in our group chat who could stay the night before at her place, which I originally agreed to. This is to ensure the morning of goes smoothly for hair and makeup.

She gave her a heads-up…

I am also involved in my country’s military and told her from the time she asked me to be in her party 2 years ago that my participation would be dependent on deployments.

I received word last week that I am to be deployed for between 6 months-2.5 years away from home. My family cannot come, and my spouse will only be able to visit on the occasional weekend. I will be unable to visit home for at least 6 months.

I leave a week after the wedding.

She wants to sleep in her own bed.

Last night, I asked her what time I would be needed at if I did not spend the night.

She proceeded to tell me 6 am but that she cannot take one more change and that she needs me there the night before.

I had not told her about my deployment but did then, so that she would understand why I was changing my mind.

I have some back issues and cannot head to deployment with a sore back from sleeping on her floor or couch. I also do not want to miss one of my remaining few nights with my family.

I also wake up every morning at 5 am for a run, so I am not worried about accidentally sleeping in.

Here come the waterworks…

She then began to cry and tell me about other issues she was having such as last minute drop outs of family.

I believe it was a bit of a straw breaking the camel’s back situation.

I told her I would figure it out and we left it at that.

Today, I called the MoH who is a mutual friend, and told her the whole situation because I hoped she could help my friend understand why I do not want to give up one of my last remaining nights with my family.

She spoke to the bride and called me back.

Wow…

The bride has now given me an ultimatum. Either I arrive the night before and give no mention to my issues and support her wholly and without question, or I step down from being in the bridal party and simply attend as a guest.

I am frustrated as I am willing to support her on her big day, and have told her so, just not the night before. This has also highlighted to me an imbalance in our friendship the past few years, in which I feel I give a lot more.

I am now debating even attending the wedding.

No option is ideal.

Not attending would most likely lead to losing the whole friendship.

Attending the night before will lead to resentment on my part and I will be keeping her at length in the future.

I do not have an outfit to attend as a guest, and have already gone over my budget for my bridesmaid dress.

I do not want to act rashly and am wondering if my request to come over in the morning is really that unreasonable.

WIBTA to just not attend?”

Is the bride overreacting to her request, or is she really being that unreasonable to want to sleep in her own bed?

Reddit users shared their thoughts.

This person was surprised.

Another reader thinks they both SUCK.

This individual shared their thoughts.

Another reader chimed in.

And this person said she’s NTA.

It sounds like bailing out of the wedding is probably the best idea.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.