“Wealth” is relative term.

A man with a thousand dollars certainly has a lot more than one begging for pennies, but that doesn’t make either of them secure.

And that relativity can get complicated, especially with relatives.

AITA for refusing to pay my husband’s credit cards?

My husband (50M) is from a different country, and his family (especially his brothers) pressure him constantly to send money home.

However, I (43F) am the primary breadwinner and the one who tracks our budget, including our mortgage, loans, daughter’s private school tuition, car payment, and monthly expenses.

We don’t have a lot of extra to spare.

Actually, we don’t have any extra to spare, but his family doesn’t (or won’t) understand that.

They think everyone in America is rich.

The average American is wealthier than the average citizen of many other countries.

But they’re still kinda just getting by.

Husband and I have had multiple long talks and agreed that we wouldn’t send money to his family without discussing and agreeing on it, and we would never, under any circumstances, use a credit card to send money back home.

I opened his phone the other day and just happened to see that he had sent his brother $1500 from his credit card.

My immediate reaction was, I’m not paying that.

I told him I am not paying off his credit card and he can figure it out himself.

His argument back?

He has argued back that if his credit score is damaged it will affect our entire household since everything is half in his name.

He has also argued that he works less to be available to care for our daughter, and I’m breaking the marriage agreement and devaluing his labor.

He also had a bunch of reasons why his brother needed the money, but I’m so sick of his family taking advantage of us.

I’m holding strong that I won’t be paying any money toward that credit card and he can figure it out himself.

AITA for not paying off his credit card?

Let’s check in with the comments:

The priorities are weird here.

This advice came up a lot:

As did the term “financial infidelity.”

If the money you’re sending your family has to be put on credit, then by definition, you DON’T have that money to spare.

That’s pretty hard for some people to understand.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.