Retail workers often need to get a manager to help them with upset customers, a return, or something else that needs special authorization.

Managers, unfortunately, are often slow to come and help.

The retail worker in this story used a dysfunctional PA system to force his managers to hurry up, but one manager didn’t seem to care until the district manager was visiting the store.

Let’s see how the story plays out.

How I Got the PA System Fixed

I once worked at a pharmacy chain.

To give some idea of how long ago this was, digital photography was in its infancy.

A 6 megapixel photo was state-of-the-art, and one-hour photo processing was in its heyday.

I worked in the photo department, which doubled as customer service and/or the complaint department.

I guess they don’t want returns to be too easy.

Managers had to do all refunds since it required a key.

The problem was that most managers didn’t enjoy having to put up with the typical customer who wanted refunds and would often try to put it off if there was anybody else, customer or otherwise, they could possibly help.

(I owe that job a certain debt of gratitude, it taught me a lot about how to deflect blame from myself to people higher up the chain of command. Where it usually belonged.)

Hey, at least nobody will miss the announcements.

One day, the PA system decided that it was being too quiet when employees used it to page, and suddenly any announcement we made was loud enough to be heard at the fast food drive-thru next door. (I’m guessing a software update of some sort went sideways.)

I managed to figure out within a day or so that holding the phone backward but otherwise speaking normally when paging would result in the PA producing a more reasonable volume, as opposed to trying to find the right distance and vocal volume worked.

I shared this with my coworkers, and it became the new norm for paging announcements.

Thus began my reign of terror over the management team.

This is too funny.

Nothing had changed about their lack of enthusiasm in handling refunds, but when they tried to pretend I didn’t exist, I would pull out my trump card: “Do I need to turn this phone around and page it? Because I’ll do it.”

It was usually enough to convince them to stop ignoring the angry Karen (even though they weren’t called Karen’s back then) and quickly finish up with whatever they were doing.

No sir, you aren’t going on break.

One particular manager decided he was going to call my bluff one day.

He finished up with the customer he was working with and came by to let me know he was going on break, having waited for the refund customer to be about twenty feet away looking at something.

I waited for the door to the employee area close, then went over to the customer, a Karen through and through, and I honestly don’t really blame the manager for not wanting to deal with her.

I suggested she might want to plug her ears.

The manager should have just done his job.

 I then followed through on my threat:

“ＭＩＳＴＥＲ　ＭＡＮＡＧＥＲ　ＴＯ　ＰＨＯＴＯ　ＦＯＲ　Ａ　ＲＥＦＵＮＤ．”

 The entire store went dead silent for a good four or five seconds. Even the muzak was quieted for a moment while the software parsed what I had just done to to the PA.

The manager came out, did the refund, gave me the dirtiest look you can imagine, and went back to take his break.

Hey, fixing the PA system costs money.

 Fast forward a few weeks and the PA still hasn’t been fixed.

Other managers, having heard that I was, in fact, not afraid to follow through on my threats of excessive volume, practically materialized from the ether,  sometimes several at once, as soon as I made the page that I needed one of them to help a customer.

The one I actually did abuse the eardrums of, on the other hand, has not learned his lesson, and is again taking his time in coming to my counter to issue a refund. (One of my regulars, not the same customer. That would have been too poetic.)

He lazily strolls right past my counter toward the stockroom, saying he’ll be back in a few.

Well, he asked for it.

I again offer the threat of turning the phone around, and he again says he’ll be right back while maintaining his nonchalant pace.

What I didn’t realize was that the district manager was at the store at that time. He overheard me saying that, and I probably turned pale when I saw him come out of an aisle and head my way.

Is he going to let this happen?

 “What did you say?” he asked, but he sounded more confused or curious than upset.

“The PA only works right if you hold the phone backward and talk into the back of the mouthpiece when you page,” I explained. “They hear us next door if we page holding the phone normally. I’ve got a customer waiting for a refund.” I gestured toward the aforementioned customer.

 “It’s all good, I can wait a few,” the customer said, waving off the concern.

The DM wasn’t having it. “Customers come first, and he’s checking on something I asked him about. Call for the refund, and don’t hold the phone backward,” was his order.

He asked for it.

 I picked up the phone. “You may want to plug your ears,” I said.

The customer thought I was joking, but did so anyway. The DM did not.

“ＭＩＳＴＥＲ　ＭＡＮＡＧＥＲ　ＴＯ　ＰＨＯＴＯ　ＦＯＲ　Ａ　ＲＥＦＵＮＤ，” I paged.

Again, silence.

Just following instructions, sir.

The manager came out of the stockroom, ready to lay into me about having abused the PA (and his eardrums) again, but held his tongue when he saw the district manager scowling in his direction.

He did the refund, the DM apologized for the wait while still glaring daggers at the manager, and said he wanted to talk to him in the stockroom after the customer had left.

Oh, now he can move quickly.

I was amused to note that the manager didn’t dawdle when heading for the stockroom this time, walking as fast as he could without actually running.

The DM took a couple of steps to follow, but paused.

“How long has the PA been doing that?” he asked me.

I bet this worker doesn’t even want it fixed at this point.

 “About a month or so, I think.”

“I saw the fix ticket for it a ways back but didn’t realize it was this bad. I’ll escalate it, ” he said, and followed the manager into the stockroom.

Yikes, the manager lost his job over this?

 The PA was replaced before the end of the week. So was the manager.

And thus ended my reign of terror over the managers, though it made enough of an impact that they decided not to ignore refund pages after that, just in case I or another photo clerk decided to find more horrifying ways of ensuring their compliance. (…Okay, it was probably the reaming by the DM that did that, but a lowly cashier can dream.)

What a fun story, except it wasn’t that fun for the manager who lost his job. I guess he should remember that customers come first.

Let’s see what the people in the comments on Reddit have to say about it.

This sounds like a noise pollution violation.

It would have been fixed faster I bet.

Sadly, it rarely works out this way.

This commenter has jokes.

Speak up, the manager can’t hear you!

If you liked that post, check out this post about a rude customer who got exactly what they wanted in their pizza.