It’s hard to enjoy a getaway when your one-on-one time turns into a third-wheeling marathon.

So, what would you do if your best friend’s boyfriend secretly planned to show up during your girls’ trip and steal the spotlight with a surprise proposal?

Would you say nothing and let the trip shift into a celebration for two?

Or would you ask him to hold off, so you could enjoy what you originally planned?

In today’s article, one woman faces this very decision and wonders if it’s wrong to ask him to wait.

Here’s what’s going on.

WIBTA if I asked my best friend’s boyfriend to delay his surprise proposal during our girls’ trip?

I (25F) planned a short four-night trip to Goa with my childhood best friend (also 25F). We’ve both been working for a while, but this is our first proper trip together.

I’ve been having a rough few months emotionally, and I haven’t taken any real time off. I’ve been counting down to this trip as a chance to decompress and reconnect.

It was supposed to be a girls’ trip, something I really needed. I’m kind of broke, but I still committed to going because I had booked my tickets a few months back, and I knew it was going to be really fun.

Yesterday, her boyfriend messaged me saying he plans to surprise her by flying in on Friday (we arrive Wednesday night, and the trip runs Thursday to Monday) to propose to her.

Understandably, she doesn’t want to feel like a third wheel on the trip.

At first, I was genuinely happy for them. But then I realized… that means he’ll be there for 3 out of the 4 full days, so basically 75% of the trip.

I casually asked if they’d be flying back together on Monday since they live in the same city, and he said, “I’ll see about that.” This only confirmed my fear that he’d be staying for the rest of the trip.

Now I feel like I’m about to third-wheel the majority of my trip—one that I planned and was emotionally counting on (it was initially going to be a solo trip to Varkala for surf lessons, but I was asking her for a trip as well, so she said let’s go to Goa, and of course, I was very excited to go with her).

She’s happy for her friend, but doesn’t want it to ruin their time together.

Now I can’t even talk to my friend about it because it’s supposed to be a surprise.

I don’t resent the proposal. I love her and I’ll be happy for her. But it sucks that this trip – which was supposed to be a shared, much-needed escape – is now being reshaped into something else without any regard for how I might feel.

Would I be wrong to message him and ask (politely) if he could delay joining by a day or two so that I can still have a little bit of one-on-one time with her before he arrives? I don’t want to ruin his plans, but I also didn’t sign up to be a background extra on my own trip.

AITA?

Eek! That’s a really tough situation for multiple reasons.

Let’s see how the fine folks over at Reddit feel about it.

This person thinks it’s wrong for him to invite himself.

According to this comment, the proposal would change the dynamic of the trip.

He wouldn’t want to even try it with this person.

As this person explains, he should plan his own trip.

She should definitely speak up.

If she allows this to happen, her trip will be a big disappointment and not at all what she wants.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.