Planning a wedding can be very exciting, but it also takes a lot of work from everyone involved.

What would you do if you were marrying your boyfriend in part because you needed a Visa, but he wasn’t helping at all with the planning?

That is the situation the woman in this story is in, and she is getting frustrated to the point where she just wants to call off the wedding and move home.

Is she overreacting, or would getting married be a bad idea?

Let’s read the whole story to decide.

WIBTA if I call off the wedding?

I’m literally crying in a graveyard right now.

I’m getting married in 5 weeks and I don’t think I can go through with it.

My partner and I have been together for 1.5 years. We decided to get married so I can stay in his country with a visa.

It seems like they must get along fairly well.

Until then we had been living together for 8 months.

He has always been supportive and makes silly jokes when I have a bad day. He buys me snacks when I’m depressed and just makes me feel like somebody in this world actually loves me and is happy I exist.

For reference, I left a physically and mentally (unsure) abusive home when I was 18 after recovering from a severe traumatic brain injury that left me with even more crippling anxiety, depression and insecurities than I ever had before.

This sounds awful.

I’ve had horrible sometimes abusive relationships, and I thought nobody could ever love me.

Which is why when this man asked me to marry him, I honestly thought this was my fairytale ending and something good was finally happening to me.

Are these even real friends? They sound like jerks.

I didn’t want a big wedding because I’d have nobody to invite and all his friends think I’m marrying him for the money and very obviously make fun of me for being a gold digger despite the fact we share bills, and I have more money than him.

He thought these jokes were hilarious which only emboldened them and I just stopped hanging out with them.

We decided on an elopement wedding with 6 guests.

Destination weddings can be nice.

He wanted a wedding that was in a remote island with little to no vendor information and local guides in a different language.

I made all the plans, talked to all the vendors, made this nightmare wedding happen over 6 months.

I kept telling him to do his bit of the planning, but he’d rather play video games.

She must feel isolated here.

We have fought every single week where I’ve asked him to please help me.

I’m drowning.

I have a full-time job and I’m studying for a diploma, and I need therapy that I cannot afford now because of this ridiculously expensive wedding that I hate so much because it just reminds me that he abandoned me repeatedly and has watched me suffer every day.

She is not a priority to him.

Whenever we have to do something either his friends need a sub for a video game or board night game or whatever else he can come up with to leave.

Last week I said please let’s buy our rings this weekend because it’s the last thing left and he hasn’t had a hand in anything else.

Once again, he is putting his friends first.

It was a Saturday and even though I was working I tried to make it but he blindsided me and said he had to pick up a friend from the train station to take him to another friend’s house 10 mins from said station.

We were 5 mins from the jewelry shop.

I went home.

It sounds like he wants out, but doesn’t want to say it.

It’s been two days. We don’t talk. He pretends everything is okay. He started applying for my visa.

Idk if he’s reminding me of my place or last-ditch attempt to keep me hear.

His actions are saying he doesn’t want her around.

I’ve paid for everything.

Does he even want this wedding.

Please help me. I just want to make life worth living for myself.

WIBTA?

You should never marry someone for any reason other than that you love them and want to spend your life with them. He is showing that he doesn’t want her around.

Let’s see what the people in the comments on Reddit have to say about this.

This commenter says that the guy is useless.

Save the money for sure.

Could the visa really be worth it?

Here is a commenter who says he is immature.

Yup, marriage would be a big mistake.

A Visa is not worth this!

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.