Imagine dating someone for a long time and deciding to move in together.

If your partner owned a home, would you be willing to pay half of the mortgage payment, or would you think you should pay less than that?

In this story, one woman is in this situation, and she doesn’t think it’s fair to pay half the mortgage payment.

Keep reading to see what she is willing to pay.

AITA for wanting to split living costs with BF instead of paying market rent to him?

Me (51F) and my BF (51M) of 4 yrs are planning to move in together. We are both divorced, and we both own a home.

My kids are in college, and his are in high school, so the plan is for me to sell my house and move into his house with him and his boys (16M and 14M) who live approx. 80% of the time with him.

We don’t plan to get married, and his house will continue to be owned solely by him.

Moving into his house (vs. mine) is less disruptive to the boys, and provides a shorter commute for both of us.

They disagree on how to split the monthly bills.

I offered to pay half of all living costs (utilities, property tax and insurance), but on his mortgage I suggested only paying half of the amount of the interest payment, and none of the amount attributable to principal.

My thinking is that the portion of the mortgage payment that goes to principal increases the equity he owns in the house, and only he benefits from it since my name will not be on title.

He agrees to splitting utilities, but instead of me paying half of other costs, my payment would be based on market rent rates. His mortgage does have a low interest rate, and he feels I should not benefit from him having a low interest rate.

I feel like we are moving in as a couple, and even though we are not married, as a couple we should more or less split things.

There are some other considerations as far as their finances.

For additional context, we both earn a good living with 6 figures, with me earning slightly more.

He is more frugal overall, and I spend more on other stuff as I am more likely to buy more expensive wine, foodie items, etc. (and that has been the case during our relationship overall).

We both earned significantly more than our ex-spouses did, but he probably has more trauma from alimony etc. payments to his ex from the divorce.

Our finances are, and would remain, separate.

She doesn’t want to pay so much of the living expenses.

I don’t feel right about paying more than he does.

With his math, I would pay about 55% of living costs (if I agree to pay also half of his principal/equity mortgage payment portion), or about 78% of true living costs (if we exclude his mortgage principal payment).

So, AITA for only wanting to pay true half of living costs, without contributing to the equity/principal portion of his mortgage payment?

It’s his house and his mortgage. I agree that she should’ve pay more than half of it, especially considering it’s just her that’s moving in. It’s not like her children are moving in too.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

One person suggests not moving in with him.

Here’s a suggestion to buy a new house together.

Or she could turn the tables on him to show him how this arrangement feels to her.

This person thinks she should pay far less than half the mortgage.

Here’s a suggestion to keep her home and rent it out.

She can move in with him, but she shouldn’t sell her home.

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