Some women want to stay at home, others don’t.

The woman in this story observed her boyfriend’s mom and how tiring her SAHM life is. She told him that she doesn’t want that life, and if he expects her to be like his mom, they should break up.

Was she out of line? Read below for the full story.

Aitah for telling my bf I’m not going to be anything like his mom and if he expects that we should break up?

I am 24F my BF is 25M. This past week, we flew to his hometown, his grandma passed away, and we flew there to stay for 4 days.

I don’t actually have anything bad to say about his mom, she is very sweet, warm, and welcoming.

My BF is #5 of 13 children. The youngest is not even a year old yet. His family home is huge and very clean, and everyone seemed great.

But there is one thing that bothers her.

The issue I have is that she is and has always been a SAHM. While we were there, she was constantly busy. She did everything.

She basically streamlined his dad’s life. He doesn’t have to do really anything at home. She cooks, she cleans, she looks after the children. She even does his laundry and ironed everything.

His dad really didn’t do anything at all.

Apparently, she even takes care of the yard and gardens. All he does is maintenance. She also gets up before he does and makes his breakfast and lunch and gets everything ready for him so all he has to do is grab it and go.

This woman was observing her boyfriend’s mom’s exhausting chores.

He said once the kids get old enough, they have their own chores and stuff, but she did a serious amount of work.

His dad owns some sort of contractor business. As soon as he walked in the door after work, there was food on the table and no one was allowed to eat until his dad sat down and ate his first bite and told his mom it was good.

The meal she cooked was absolutely massive. There was enough food to feed an army, she was cooking most of the evening. It was very good but it was a lot.

Apparently, this is typical behavior for her boyfriend’s mom.

I asked him if this was special because of the guests, but apparently, she always cooks enough to feed an army.

Lunch was pretty much whatever was in the refrigerator you wanted. Breakfast was also a massive meal. I have no idea what time she got up, but it was a big breakfast.

The family did at least clean everything up, so she didn’t have to clean, but I do not envy her.

She and her BF got into an argument about her staying at home when they have a family.

When we were on our way home, my BF was talking about his family and basically saying how much he loved the way they live.

And I told him I am absolutely not doing that at all. I don’t want to be a SAHM, I have a career I love. I absolutely will not be streamlining his life, I expect a basically 50/50 lifestyle. I’m not doing everything for him.

He acted like he understood and said he didn’t expect me to be exactly like his mother, but he did expect me to be home more if we had children.

She was not okay with that.

I basically told him that if he wants a SAHM, we should break up, and he can find someone else who feels the same.

Now he is upset and basically told me he wanted some time.

I haven’t heard from him since Monday. I’m not sure what to do.

She’s entitled to choose the future she wants.

Other people shared their opinions in the comments on Reddit.

This person has questions.

Here’s a valid opinion.

Good point.

Move on, suggests this person.

And some wise advice from this user.

Better to hash out future expectations now before it’s too late.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.