Gift-giving is supposed to be a sweet way to show love, but it can also turn into a minefield of clashing expectations.

Year after year, one husband’s fickle attitude slowly turned celebrations into stress.

And after continuously giving her bad gifts to boot, one exhausted woman is ready to give up on gift giving altogether.

Keep reading for the full story.

AITA for refusing to buy my husband anymore gifts?

I (35f) have been with my husband James (39m) for 12 years, and we have this argument like clockwork every single birthday and Christmas, but I’ve had enough.

The two have very different preferences when it comes to gift giving.

I hate surprises, and I hate surprise gifts even more because I lived in clutter with my parents, and being forced to keep a present to not offend someone bothers me because then I grapple with frustration, guilt, and general annoyance because now there’s a thing taking up space that I don’t know what to do with.

James, on the other hand, loves surprise gifts, but he is super picky.

She can’t stand the way he behaves.

He does this thing where he will tell someone, “Oh, I’m alright with anything!” but when he gets that “anything,” he will make some remark about how he actually wanted XYZ, which dampens the mood and makes him sound so childishly ungrateful.

It drives me mad because the most hypocritical thing is that if I do that to him (i.e., say “Oh, I actually wanted XYZ”) he’ll get upset and say that I should be grateful.

He doesn’t have the best track record with buying her presents.

For example, he bought me a dress he thought I’d like for my birthday, despite me telling him over and over and over and over and over again how much I would have liked a specific pair of earrings.

I gave a weak thanks, and he was sulky all evening, especially when my friends bought me something else off my wish list and I was so happy.

And it’s not about the price either, because the things he surprises me with are always either more expensive or around the same price as what I actually asked for.

She’s put a lot of work into bridging the gap, but nothing she tries works.

Now, I’ve tried my hardest to figure out what he’d like, but I always somehow miss the mark.

For instance, one year I managed to force him to tell me that he’d like “any” (keyword there) Apple product, but when I got him a new iPad to replace his old one, he said that he’d actually prefer AirPods.

I returned the iPad, and he got upset.

Another year, he told me he wanted jogging socks from a specific brand, but when he got them, he said that he actually wanted another variant of it.

Even when she’s sure she’s got it right, he still finds a way to be ungrateful.

Another year, he kept talking about a specific type of wallet for six months straight — sending me posts about it, reviews, whatever — and I got it for him, thinking I’d cracked the code.

You know what he said? If you guessed “Actually, I wanted something else,” then you are absolutely correct.

Rinse and repeat.

This year, I tried to ask him again to at least give me a hint to work with, and he playfully told me to surprise him.

So finally she lashed out, and now everyone’s mad at each other.

Years of pent-up frustration got the best of me, and I told him that he’s an ungrateful child and I will NOT be surprising him.

If he wasn’t going to tell me, then he gets nothing.

I also told him to stop surprising me with stuff I don’t even want, because he’s a hypocrite whose feelings will get hurt if I don’t fall to my knees thanking him (I exaggerate) for something I don’t want.

I’m done coddling him over gifts because it’s stupid and causes undue stress to me.

As per the usual, he’s gone off to sulk, and I feel terrible for lashing out at him.

AITA?

Sounds like this couple isn’t on the same page at all.

What did Reddit think?

This commenter would also be quite frustrated if she was in this woman’s shoes.

Maybe some people just enjoy always feeling superior.

Gift giving is supposed to be fun.

This commenter thinks her husband deserves to be called out for his hypocrisy.

She might feel guilty for snapping, but someone had to break the cycle.

She’s not wrong for refusing to play a game she knows she’ll never win.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.