Sometimes you can invite someone again and again, but they’ll still find a way to be upset when you finally move forward without them

So what would you do if your mom declined every single invitation to help choose your wedding dress, only to get angry once you actually bought it?

Would you apologize to her? Or would you refuse to see her side because she could’ve easily gone?

In the following story, one daughter finds herself in this scenario and is pretty upset with her mother.

Here’s what happened.

AITAH for purchasing my wedding dress without my mom

I, 35 F, had my aunt in town to do a late birthday celebration. We decided to go look at wedding dresses and had planned it out 3 weeks in advance.

This is my second wedding as well as my fiancés, and it’s going to be very small.

I’m plus-sized, and my mom is tiny, like a size 2, and very judgmental about my body and clothes. Regardless, I’ve tried to include or keep her updated with wedding plans as we make them, but she’s kinda been a downer on everything from colors and locations to the invite list.

Leading up to the day, she invited her mother many times.

Anyway, regardless of everything, I invited my mom right away to join us as I felt most moms would want to be there to pick out the dress, and she declined.

Two weeks out, I invited my mom again, but she declined. A week out, I invited her again, and you guessed it, she declined. This proceeded to occur all the way up to the night before.

The week of, I invited her no less than 7 times, and her reasoning for declining ranged from “you never know what will happen” and “your wedding isn’t til next year” (less than 11 months), to “oh, I have plans at 3, so I don’t think I’ll make it in time”

She found the perfect dress.

The first appointment was at 10 am and was 45 minutes away from her house. Mom calls me the night before and tells me not to buy anything. I informed her I’m not making that promise, as if I find the perfect dress, I’ll go ahead and get it. I ask her one last time, and she declines the invitation again.

So my aunt and I go to the first appointment and find THE dress. Yes, I tried on about 30 in various styles, materials, etc, but loved this one.

It was double my budget, but the shop decided to give it to me half off because they were just so nice, and my aunt decided to pay for it and all the accessories as a surprise.

Her mother was not impressed.

I said we should at least FaceTime my mom and show it to her. We did, and she was like, “Eh, keep it as an option, but idk.”

My aunt jumped in and said, “No, we’re informing you this is the dress we purchased and thought you’d like to see it.”

Now my mom’s upset I didn’t take her with me to see the dress first. She’s also jealous that I took my aunt (from out of state) to see the venue. Keep in mind, we’ve had this venue booked for nearly a year, and my parents live less than an hour from it and have declined every invite thus far.

AITA?

Yikes! Her mother sounds like a very jealous woman in every way.

Let’s see how the readers over at Reddit think she should handle this situation.

This person thinks taking your mom is optional.

This person almost judged the story too soon.

Yet another person who almost chose the wrong side.

According to this comment, she should go with fewer invites.

Her mother is so rude!

She had plenty of opportunities to go with, but she refused all of them.

She gets no say.

If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.