For many people, birthdays are very important and deserve to be celebrated in the way that they desire.

What would you do if your mom kept hinting that she wanted you to celebrate with family, but when you offered to do just that, she said no, but then she got upset when you didn’t celebrate with her?

That is what happened to the birthday girl in this story, and she isn’t sure if she should have just gone to her mom’s house to pacify her.

AITA for being upset that my mom didn’t celebrate my birthday that well?

I (20F) just had my birthday yesterday.

I had plans beforehand (like I do every year since I was 17) to see a movie and get dinner with my friends, which had been set about a week ago.

A few days ago, my mom was obviously upset by this, and she asked why I wasn’t spending the night with my family (2 uncles, and an aunt), and I responded that I had these plans set in advance, but I was happy to move them since my friends have flexible schedules.

She told me it was fine to spend time with my friends, and so I treated it as such.

Later, she asks why I didn’t want to spend my birthday with my family.

She is being very clear about being willing to change her plans.

I repeat the same offer to move friend plans and same denial to do so. I told her (albeit a bit frustrated) that to me it wasn’t a big deal on what exact day I celebrated my birthday, if I wanted to spend it later with my friends I could, and I could do it with my family on the exact day.

She declined again and said, “it was my day and I could do what I wanted,” but “if I was in my college town (out of state) it would be okay to spend my 20th with my friends, but I’m back home so I should want to spend it with my family.”

Repeat loop.

Ok, all is going to plan.

My birthday came up, and in the morning, she told me happy birthday. The day before, she gave me my gift of pajama pants and socks with my cat’s face on it. Super cute, I think it was a sweet gesture, but that was it.

At the risk of sounding like a jerk, it didn’t feel genuine or like it was enough. I need to mention that my mom has mentioned multiple times that this year was the year she’s made the most money she’s ever made before any assumptions are made.

You don’t have to be thrilled with the presents you receive.

I feel like it’s okay to be a little disappointed with only receiving socks and pants that were a total of 11 bucks, knowing that she’s been ordering smaller bags for herself and treating other people on their birthdays incredibly well.

While the gift itself is sweet and I do like it, it doesn’t feel like a genuine gift that shows care.

Mom sounds very passive-aggressive.

The entire day, she was just acting like she was annoyed with my existence.

I had a doctor’s appointment set on that day, and on the way back I brought her coffee, and she said “Oh. Thanks. This isn’t what you usually get me though.” (It was)

No, birthday’s are for the person whose birthday it is.

As I was leaving to meet with my friends, she was on call with her friends who said that “birthdays were for moms too!” and that today they’d be celebrating her.

It was on speaker and she knows I can hear her through the house, so I was a bit taken aback by this, but I just brushed it off because I wanted to have a good time.

Hopefully she can let it go.

I feel like she could’ve done more to at least try and celebrate my birthday and tried to act like she wasn’t just annoyed with a decision that I made that she told me over and over that it was okay.

I understand that she would be upset over me not spending it with my family, but I told her over and over my friends have a flexible schedule and it could be any other time, and we could do a birthday thing with my family now.

AITA?

No way, she told her mom multiple times that she could be with her and the family on her birthday, but mom said no. If mom wanted to make plans, she should have done it.

Let’s see what the people in the comments think about this situation.

Here is someone who thinks mom was self-centered.

Mom is trying to make it about herself.

This commenter is likely right.

She doesn’t seem entitled to me.

This person thinks both of them are out of line.

These two have some serious communication issues.

If you liked this post, check out this story about an employee who got revenge on a co-worker who kept grading their work suspiciously low.