When you’re growing up, it’s no secret that your hormones go haywire.

At some point you go from your childlike interests to the pursuit of love, and that transition can be clumsy, and complicate things to say the least.

And as the guy in this story found out, those clumsy feelings can follow you around for a long time, and eventually everything will come out.

This can be for the better or for the worst.

Read on to find out how this guy’s experience very much ended up being for the worst.

AITA for not letting my brother blame me for no longer having romantic feelings for our childhood friend, who is now his ex?

My brother (25, male) and I (26, male) were friends with Nova (24, female) growing up. I ended up having a crush on Nova for a while, and that developed into something deeper without anything ever happening.

She and I were best friends and very close, but with her being younger I always felt weird about it and didn’t act when we were very young.

Then she started dating, and I never wanted to be that person who tells someone they have feelings when they’re in a relationship.

Nova went from relationship to relationship, and so I never told her how I felt.

Let’s see how this affected things within the family.

My mom knew and my dad suspected, but I confided in my mom a few times. She was the only person I told because I didn’t want to start gossip or rumors.

I never told my brother about my crush, because he was always the kind of person who’d tease, and I was terrified he would try to tell her for me and she’d be with someone.

She was never really single long enough for me to say anything.

She was never single more than a few weeks. And she never really gave me the vibe that she liked me as more. So I kept quiet.

But then, something major changed between the three of them.

Three years ago, Nova and my brother started dating – and it was at that point I was like okay, no matter what this has to end. I worked on letting go of any feelings I had. It wasn’t easy but I did.

For me there was a line, and dating anyone my brother used to – even if I liked her before – was just a no. That’s a line you don’t cross.

I was happy and supportive of their relationship. He was over the moon, and I realized he’d clearly had feelings for her for a while too.

He admitted he started liking her a couple of years before they started dating.

All seemed well – until their story took an unexpected turn.

Their relationship started to get more serious, but then they broke up. My brother told me he knew I was in love with her, and she admitted she was in love with me and wanted me but settled for him.

He wanted me to know I had his blessing. I asked him where he heard that and he said our parents had talked to him after Nova had talked to them.

He said there was no point in lying. I told him I wouldn’t lie and I used to feel that way but I told him I had let go of those feelings and I moved on. He didn’t believe me.

Then Nova told me she was in love with me and wanted us to be together. I told her I didn’t feel that way anymore. She was upset and asked if we could try but I said no. She accepted that and we’re still friendly, but not close like before.

Now, it seems like the drama between the three of them has replaced any kind of friendship they could have had.

My brother can’t accept it, and ever since I said no to Nova he’s been picking fights with me and accusing me of being a ****.

He told me he gave her up for me, he gave us an opening to be together and I threw it away. He said it was such ******** that I let go of all that love I had for her then I told him I hadn’t, and wouldn’t apologize for doing it.

I said it was far better than wishing she was with me while she was with him. I told him he can be heartbroken and upset Nova and him didn’t work out, but he does not get to blame me for my feelings. He said those feelings make me selfish and I’m an *** for telling him how to feel.

I can see he’s hurting and I feel awful but I don’t think it’s fair that I’m being blamed by him. But maybe he’s right.

AITA?

This is a truly messy situation, and it’s a shame that it seems to have destroyed the strong relationship that the three of these old friends once had for one another.

It also sucks that the older brother felt he had to shut down his feelings to protect Nova and his brother, whilst his brother has seemingly done the same for him.

If the trio had only communicated earlier, this whole sorry tale could have been avoided.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit thought about this.

This person agreed with the older brother’s stance on Nova.

While others called out Nova’s behavior, in getting between the two brothers.

Meanwhile, this Redditor thought that everything would work itself out in time.

At the moment it might feel like these brothers are at odds over Nova, but eventually – once they’ve both settled into new, loving relationships – hopefully this whole ordeal will be water under the bridge.

It’s a shame that they couldn’t make it work and turn this long-standing friendship into something more, but that’s more on Nova than anything.

Nobody should be blaming the older brother for working to move past his feelings, with everyone else’s happiness in mind.

He did a nice thing, and now he’s being punished.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.