January 18, 2026 at 4:15 pm

She Began To Distance Herself When She Noticed That Her Friend Only Reaches Out When She Needs Something. Now The Friend Is Calling Her “Cold.”

by Michael Levanduski

Friends fighting

Shutterstock, Reddit

Having good friends is a blessing in life because they can be a lot of fun, and you can be there for each other when you need them.

What would you do if you started to notice that one of your friends only got in touch when she needed a favor from you?

That is what was happening to the woman in this story, so she started to distance herself, and now the friend is calling her cold.

AITA for stepping back from a friend who only checks on me when she needs something

I realized recently that one of my closest friends doesn’t actually talk to me unless there’s a favor attached.

Sadly, some friends are just using you.

She’ll send these super sweet ‘Hey how are you?’ messages, and the second I answer, it immediately turns into btw can you help me with or do you mind doing me a quick favor?

I didn’t notice the pattern at first because it felt nice to be wanted, but lately it just hits wrong.

Let’s see how she reacts to this.

Last week I was playing myprize and when she reached out I thought maybe she could tell something was off.

I told her I wasn’t doing great.

Wow, she doesn’t care in the least.

And she literally replied, “Oh that sucks, anyway can you look over this thing for me real quick?”

It felt like getting the wind knocked out of me.

I certainly can’t blame her for backing away.

Since then I’ve been slower to respond not ghosting her, just protecting my energy a little and now she’s calling me cold and saying I’m making her feel bad for asking for help.

I don’t want to blow things up but it’s exhausting feeling like my feelings only matter if they’re convenient.

Is this even a friendship?

AITA for pulling back or is it fair to want a friendship that doesn’t only exist when someone needs something?

It is really hard to make a full judgment from one little situation, but it certainly sounds like this is no real friendship to me.

Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about it.

Comment 5 49 She Began To Distance Herself When She Noticed That Her Friend Only Reaches Out When She Needs Something. Now The Friend Is Calling Her Cold.

They say she needs to do some deep thinking.

Comment 4 53 She Began To Distance Herself When She Noticed That Her Friend Only Reaches Out When She Needs Something. Now The Friend Is Calling Her Cold.

We’ve all been there.

Comment 3 83 She Began To Distance Herself When She Noticed That Her Friend Only Reaches Out When She Needs Something. Now The Friend Is Calling Her Cold.

She’s one step ahead on this one.

Comment 2 83 She Began To Distance Herself When She Noticed That Her Friend Only Reaches Out When She Needs Something. Now The Friend Is Calling Her Cold.

Things change over time.

Comment 1 83 She Began To Distance Herself When She Noticed That Her Friend Only Reaches Out When She Needs Something. Now The Friend Is Calling Her Cold.

It is ok to end a friendship.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.