Some arguments appear innocent at first, but are rooted in much deeper issues.

Imagine asking your parent a straightforward question about Christmas gifts, and things spiral out of control until they start yelling and screaming at you.

How would you handle it? Would you apologize and fix the situation immediately? Or would you be unsure how to feel after the whole thing?

In the following story, one grown daughter finds herself in this situation with her mother. Here’s what happened.

AITA for asking my if mom she got my bf a Christmas gift?

I’m 23F and have been with my boyfriend (23M) for 3 years. We’re both young. He’s in college, and I’m just barely out.

For holidays, we do gifts as a couple, usually I buy for my fam, and he buys for his, but it’s from us both.

Otherwise, we’d go broke. His family gets me gifts every year, and my dad gets him gifts. It’s always been fine.

Her mother wants everything her way.

Recently, my mom and I talked out an issue where I didn’t tell her about my dad’s third kid because she wasn’t in a good mental space to hear it, and they’re no contact.

She told me not to tell him any of her stuff, so I thought I’d respect that both ways. She said no, just not her stuff, she wants to hear about his. Whatever, it was worked out.

Last night, we were talking about Christmas Eve.

She’s going to my family’s party and wanted me to stay home with my dog because it’s his birthday and she doesn’t want him alone. I said that was fine, but my boyfriend and I had somewhere to be first, so we’d come after. I also told her she could give us our gifts then.

She tried to explain, but her mother wouldn’t listen.

Then she said she didn’t get my boyfriend anything and went off about how he’s “just my boyfriend” and that it’s strange I expected her to get him something.

I explained we’ve been together 3 years and reiterated that our gift system is always “from both of us,” but she kept bringing up that he only bought her flowers once and he never does stuff for her.

She also compared him to her cousin’s girlfriends. I told her I didn’t care if she didn’t get him anything. He wouldn’t notice, and it’s not a big deal. My boyfriend and I pick gifts for each other’s families too, so even if he didn’t buy something, he helps me pick it, and vice versa.

Then, it hit her.

Then things escalated. She said, going forward, she won’t talk to me, so I told her good luck getting my grandparents from the airport if she won’t speak to me, cause how will I get any info? She said, “They’ll have to Uber because they don’t have a granddaughter anymore.”

I asked if I could pick them up without her because I didn’t want to drive in a tense car, but she said no. I told her she’d rather turn them against me than talk to me.

I then said it feels like she’s only nice to me while my grandparents are away. They’ve been gone a month, and when they come back, she doesn’t need me.

Her mother did not like being called out.

After that, she started screaming, calling me names, saying she doesn’t want to talk to me anymore, that we won’t be speaking, and that I’m a terrible person.

She said things like “YOUR MOTHER IS ****! YOU HAVE NO MOTHER!” and she also said my dad left his “filthy spirit” in me.

I wasn’t perfectly calm; I responded aggressively at times, too, because it was scary.

After this, she called her sister at 12 am. I didn’t answer cause I have work at 7 am. I still haven’t messaged or anything.

AITA?

Yikes! This is the kind of thing no one really wants with their parents.

Let’s see what the people over at Reddit have to say about this whole thing.

This person doesn’t think she did anything wrong.

Here’s someone who thinks everyone is out of line.

For this reader, she should go no contact with her mom.

This reader offers an apology.

What an unfortunate situation.

Her mom isn’t going to change, so it may be time to take a break and let everyone’s emotions calm down.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.