It can be a sticky situation when a family member you love asks you for money. For most people, they would give a loan out of the goodness of their hearts.

But what happens when there’s a clear track record of never getting your money back? No matter how much you love your relative, it seems never ending and only hurts everyone in the end.

In this situation, a man can’t decide if he should loan his aunt money and he needs Reddit’s advice.

Let’s get into it…

AITA for refusing to lend my aunt €4,000 to pay off a loan shark?

I (late 20s, M) have an aunt who has been borrowing small amounts from me for years, usually €200–€300 every month or two.

She normally pays it back within a month, but the asking never stops and it’s started to bother me because I feel like I’ve become her default bank.

she and my uncle can’t get loans and don’t really have other friends/family who will lend to them (they have a reputation for being bad payers).

That’s a sticky situation.

Context: My mum and my aunt are sisters. My mum recently sold the family home they both grew up in. My aunt gave up her share in the house around 16 years ago, so she isn’t receiving anything from the sale now.

I’m managing the sale, and the proceeds are basically going to be mine since my mum plans to transfer the money to me.

before we signed the sale contract my aunt asked me for a larger loan: €4,000. She said it’s €3,000 to fully clear a loan shark debt, and €1,000 for personal needs (food, bills, other loans).

They know that’s a lot of money.

She borrowed €3k and is now paying €400/month in interest alone. Her income is about €500/month, plus she receives €750/month from the French government (possibly not legitimate) and she said she would repay me using that. I wouldn’t charge interest.

I can afford it financially speaking and I have savings and €4k wouldn’t change my life. I’m just worried that if I do this, it won’t be the end and I’ll become the permanent bailout person.

I also worry that she won’t pay on time and this will cause a fight (A very similar thing happened in 2023 – loaned 5k, we almost stopped talking).

I told her I needed to stop doing loans because I’m not a bank. I admit I probably sounded harsh.

But he’s not completely heartless…

I offered an alternative: I’d help once she’s on the way to France / working there (she’s worked in France before and says that’s her way out), but she said she needs the money now and didn’t like that idea.

I feel guilty because she’s generally nice to me, and she even helps me manage my apartments/tenants sometimes.

But I also feel like this is a pattern that will never end if I keep saying yes. I also feel guilty that this was her childhood home, yet she isn’t getting anything from it.

Let’s get into the comments.

People pointed out what felt like the obvious.

Others warned that the money likely won’t get paid back.

Some suggested gifting the money instead of loaning it.

But the overall agreement was that some people will always ask you for money.

My advice is that this should be the last time he ever loans his family money.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.