After nine years together, a woman says her marriage never fully recovered from how her husband treated her during postpartum depression.

While things improved through therapy, one argument about childcare and “real work” caused old wounds to rip back open, and she responded by quietly withdrawing all the unpaid labor she’d been doing for him.

Read on for the story.

AITA for not longer doing anything for my husband?

My husband and I have been together for 9 years now and yes, we are currently in marriage therapy and have been for roughly 7 months – though admittedly, I am considering canceling future sessions.

We have a 2 year old together, no other kids. Our relationship prior to our baby was a happy one.

So, when our child was around 2.5 weeks old, I was diagnosed with PPD. I honestly think I was simply struggling with being alone more than anything.

How terrible.

We moved away from my mother when our baby was only a day old (he basically said “oh I found us an apartment, we move in today” – as we were staying in my moms basement apartment to save to buy a home – and this was 100% sprung on me with no discussion). And he only took 2 days off work.

So basically the first couple weeks of our child’s life I was isolated in an apartment, in unfamiliar territory with a brand new baby and surrounded by boxes of our stuff.

He left for work at 5am and often didnt come home until after 5pm. I was terrified and irritable, and instead of seeing it for what it was (despite me literally telling him what was wrong), he just ultimately decided he couldn’t handle my “anger” and started hanging out with his buddies outside our apartment complex for a few hours at least – every single night.

No way.

It was a VERY telling time of our relationship, where he basically abandoned me.

Loved our child and did everything when he was home but the problem was that he hardly ever was home.

Eventually I turned ice cold, is the only way I know how to put it. I stopped caring that he wasn’t home and I worked through my PPD, essentially, alone.

That sounds bittersweet.

He tried smartening up once I was better. Damage was already done. He suggested therapy, I agreed.

In essence, a lot feels better. I started feeling like I actually loved him again. He started taking accountability for everything he did and did everything he could to make it up to me.

So, things were going well.

Hallelujah!

But that leads us to this issue.. I am technically a SAHM but I also own an online shop and bring in around $900 a month. Its not much but I only spend maybe 2hrs a day on my business and the rest of my time is dedicated to our child.

I buy all home necessities, he pays the bills, and for literal months he has told me that he prefers this and that even the little bit I bring in helps him “tremendously” and that he enjoys our arrangement.

I now realize he was lying. He picked a fight with me a week ago.

Uh oh…

He had the day off and I told him I was leaving the baby with him while I went grocery shopping because he is sick. He acted totally fine with it. By the time I got home 2.5 hours later, he was livid.

He was trying to play some game with his online buddies and our baby was not having it. As stated, they are sick.

So my husband is getting irritated because he is being interrupted and the baby is screaming in to his microphone.

You’ve GOT to be kidding me here.

I get the baby calmed down, put away the groceries and then take a seat on the couch. My husband looks at me and I kind of chuckle and say “I am glad you see what I go through every day.”

He goes “what do you mean?” So I told him that he tells me I take this (SAHM) for granted and that he would love to stay home.

He SNAPPED.

Dude.

He said the difference between me and him is that he “actually works” and never gets a break, that I “dont want to work” and if I did, I would find a real job so he wouldn’t have to work so much.

I asked him when tf I ever get a break (this is literally the FIRST time I have ever been away from our child). He goes “you get a break every single time you take a nap with them” and made some commented about laziness.

Our son has quite literally not taken a nap in damn near 3 months and even when he did take a nap prior, I stayed away and worked on my business. I do not nap.

WOW, the blood is boiling.

So I told him that, and he immediately tells me that that is a “crock of sh*t.” Keep in mind he was on his microphone the entire time so all his friends heard this.

I didn’t argue further. But I took my ring off.

After that, I stopped doing all his laundry. I stopped plating his dinner plates and just left his food in the pots/pans/tupperware with the rest of the leftovers. I no longer prep the coffee pot in the morning to brew at 5am for him.

This is so sad.

I stopped sending him update texts through the day. Stopped sending him daily pictures of our child. Stopped cleaning up after him – which means all his plates are still on the counters, all his dirty clothing is strewn along the home, his desk has 4 dirty cups and snack wrappers.

He has made comments a few times throughout the week saying “this house is ALWAYS trashed”. I ignore it. Not all of it is his mess, but about 90% of it is.

I simply stopped putting the babies toys away every time he gets done playing so there are toys everywhere too.

That will add up FAST.

Yesterday he came home and I was already in bed with the baby and didnt greet him.

He ends up picking up some of his garbage and comes in to say we need to talk and that this is being pushed too far and “obviously he didnt mean it, he was just stressed out because he had dealt with the baby screaming for 2.5 hours straight.”

I told him the damage was already done – especially considering he was a POS for over a year, not even 7 months ago.

Take THAT.

He didnt get to bounce back to being a POS that quickly when what he did before is still etched heavy in my head.

And that no, I wont get over his comments and I dont even know if I want to continue this marriage.

He said everything he said isnt enough to warrant a divorce and that he is sorry. I dont even want to look at him though.

Now her husband says she’s gone too far and wants to “talk things out,” blaming stress and a bad day with a sick toddler. But for her, this wasn’t one comment, it was the final confirmation of how little he understands what she’s been carrying for years.

Reddit is pretty clear that is is…well, that this is some BS.

This person says this is not love and OP has every right to leave.

This person said there’s some major irony here.

And this person suggests moving back in with OP’s mom.

You don’t get to dismiss someone’s labor and still expect to benefit from it.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.