For many of us, our wedding day is something we’ve dreamed about for years – and then spent a significant amount of time planning.

But it is, in the end, just one day – which is why making memories can be so important.

Second to the memories is the photos, since besides the marriage itself, the photos are the only lasting token of the big day.

This leads to couples putting a significant amount of thought into the list of photos they want, how they will be presented, and who will be in them.

That was absolutely the case for the woman in this story, for whom family photos were particularly important.

But she never expected that her family photo would be at the centre of some considerable drama and upset.

Read on to find out what happened.

AITA for excluding my “adopted sister” from family photos?

I am a 26-year-old woman, and my “adopted sister” Ally (fourteen, female).

The way we’re “related” is that my younger brother Michael (24, male) has been with his wife Maya (24, female) since their freshman year of high school.

Maya and Ally had a really bad home life and my mom is very much a “my home is open to everyone” type of person – so over that year, Maya began spending more and more time at our house, eventually bringing Ally over as well, since she was always babysitting.

By the time Michael and Maya were sixteen years old, Maya basically lived in the guest room and Ally spent after school, most weekends, holidays, and summer vacation at our house.

Let’s see how these girls fit into the family.

My mom and dad say that they love both Maya and Ally like their own children. My other siblings (eighteen, male and sixteen, female) also treat her like she’s a part of the family.

Even after Maya and Michael moved out, Ally is still at their house the same amount, if not more than she was before.

Now, I have nothing against Ally. She’s a good kid and I make an effort to be nice to her. However, I’ve never really liked how she was foisted into our lives.

She’s not actually adopted and she still has parents and her own family. Yet my parents spend so much time and resources on her, it’s ridiculous. Everyone else has started unironically calling her their daughter or sister, and I’ve refused.

I just don’t consider her to be family.

Then, things changed in this woman’s life.

I got married recently, which is where the issues start.

I invited Ally to the wedding, of course, and she came with all of my other family.

When we were doing pictures of the wedding parties, I decided that I wanted one with all of my immediate family (so my parents, my siblings, Maya, and Maya and Michael’s daughter).

My mom brought Ally up to come take the picture with us and I was forced to tell her no. My mom started to get upset but then Ally said it was okay, and sat down by herself.

Read on to find out how this decision affected the rest of the family.

My mom isn’t a very confrontational person, so she didn’t make a big deal of it – but then everyone else realized that Ally wasn’t there and they got mad as well.

Ultimately, we took the photo how I wanted it because they “didn’t want to do this at my wedding,” but my entire family is mad at me now.

My mom said that Ally cried when she got home because I don’t love her, which I don’t.

I feel like they forced me into a position where I had to do a mean thing, all by forcing this kid onto me. And I don’t think I should have to consider her family if I don’t want to.

AITA?

Sure, it’s fair for her to say that this girl isn’t actually family – because no, in terms of blood relations, she’s not. However, she is extended family, since Maya and Michael got married.

But she is as good as family, and if she didn’t want Ally in the pictures this should have been planned and discussed beforehand.

In the end, she’s ended up upsetting not just her family, but a fourteen year old girl who is likely already feeling displaced as it is.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit made of this.

This person thought she was being unnecessarily harsh.

While others thought that the woman might benefit from therapy of her own.

However, this Redditor thought she’d been put into a difficult position.

Sure it’s tough – family can often be this way – but it’s worth considering the girl’s situation.

Her home life is so unhappy that she spends most of her time with another family, one that welcomed her with open arms ever since she was a small child.

She likely considers them more family than her own blood relations, which is why the photo situation would have stung so much.

What a tough situation to be in.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.