Starting a new job is stressful enough without feeling like you’ve accidentally signed up to be someone’s therapist.

When one new assistant met an unstable coworker who immediately began oversharing personal trauma and inviting her into her private life, things quickly became uncomfortable.

She soon wondered whether a report to HR was the ticket to relief, or just more drama.

Keep reading for the full story.

AITA for wanting to go to HR?

I (25F) recently lost my apartment.

I am currently living in some friend’s guest room (relevant).

I just started a new job in an accounting firm as an assistant.

But there’s one coworker that’s giving her trouble.

Everyone seems really nice, but there is one person… let’s call her Marie… who is making me anxious.

Marie seems to be a bit too eager about getting to know her.

Upon our first meeting, she asked me where I live, and when I answered, she offered me to come live with her (we were talking for less than 10 minutes), which immediately felt weird.

So I politely refused.

Marie continues to overshare big time.

She then proceeded to explain to me that she lives alone because two years ago she found her partner no longer alive in the house they had just bought together.

She also said that she’s finally been able to move from that house to a new apartment barely two months ago.

Marie likes to push the boundaries in other ways too.

We go to lunch, and when the waiter asks if we want to drink, she orders white wine and asks if I want one too.

I refuse, explaining that if I drink alcohol at lunch, I will feel the need for a nap in the afternoon.

More oversharing ensues.

The waiter goes away and she responds that she herself often has an urge when she drinks to drink another one, and another one, until she collapses.

A few days later, when I ask how she is, she answers that she finally unpacked the last box she had from her moving.

She says she cried a lot because it reminded her of many memories.

Marie keeps pressing her to hang out outside of work.

She asks if I am allowed to work from home because we could organize a work-from-home day for both of us in HER home so we could have a better quality training since it would be only the two of us.

So she comes up with a convenient excuse.

I tried to explain to her the fact that I have a lot of social anxiety and I try not to meet with colleagues outside of work.

I said that I can leave my anxiety at home when I meet people at work, but not if I mix up personal and professional life (which is true, not a lie to keep her away).

She says she understands, but I wouldn’t have to worry since she lives alone and no one else would be there.

So I guess she didn’t really understand what I just explained.

Needless to say, this employee is starting to feel a bit cornered.

All these interactions make me uncomfortable.

I have a lot of anxiety and I have chronic depression.

Marie is starting to drain the energy from her.

I can’t be someone’s therapist, and I am dreading (maybe too strong of a word?) each of our meetings, wondering what she will drop on me.

I want her to stop talking to me if it’s not related to work.

She wonders whether going to HR might help.

I’m thinking of going to HR for this.

The thing is I feel like an AH because she seems really lonely.

She does worry about how a potential report would affect Marie.

I am really nice at work and have a lot of empathy, so maybe it is the reason she thought she could talk to me?

And I don’t want to offend her.

It could also make things even more awkward.

She will be one of the main people to train me, and even after training I will have to interact with her a lot.

So please tell me, AITA?

Sounds like this employee is stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Commenters chime in with their thoughts.

What Marie is doing is uncomfortable, but this user doesn’t think it’s really HR worthy.

Lodging a formal report may not go as well as this employee expects.

This user takes a different stance.

This user thinks crossing clear boundaries is an HR issue.

What Marie really needs is a therapist — and some friends outside of work.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.