Living with your parents in adulthood can bring about conflict, especially if there’s any resentment brewing from the living situation.

This isn’t an out of the ordinary situation, but it can get messy fast.

For this young woman, she’s not sure if she deserves the treatment her parents are giving her since she’s been living with them and needs some new opinions.

Let’s see what happened…

AITA for living with my parents at 26?

I’m 26F, living with parents, in Europe.

Just for context: the dynamic in our family is that you get no love unless you are perfect (and you never will be), money is a source of self-imposed stress, and academic achievement and money are top values.

I left home when I was 18. During this time I lived on-and-off with my parents. Last year I got out of an abusive 3 year relationship with a man twice my age. I hit the rock bottom.

I snapped out of it, went to therapy, cut the old ex off completely, left home, went back to school, 99% finished my BA while working 1.5 jobs, got my health in check.

Seems like she’s in a better place.

Now I have been living back with my parents again for ~5 months. I do not pay rent, but pay all my own bills, cook, clean, and spend ~over a third of my salary on the household. Overall I do not cause any trouble.

I made it clear to my parents any time I temporarily returned home since 21 that I do want to pay rent. They insisted I don’t and that I rather focus on studying and myself.

So I did. I’ve had jobs since 16, still work and have 2 jobs lined up, in a good place for the first time in my life.

Today mom came in my room to ‘talk’ about our earlier quarrel.

She said she realized it was not nice of her to snap at me for boiling 200ml more of water in the kettle than I needed.

She snaps at me for reasons like this regularly, then ‘apologizes’ and does it again 5 min later.

I said I appreciated it and that I’m actively trying to not be in the way or be wasteful.

Then she said I should be grateful she lets me use her pots and her kitchen and allows me to take a shower etc. And that I am spoiled, ungrateful, and she shouldn’t be paying for a grown up woman to live in her house.

That’s pretty harsh…

I almost burst into tears. I told her that if she isn’t okay with caring for another human being, she shouldn’t have had children.

But she does and she had, if no other, then at least a legal obligation to provide for me till 18 and hopefully support my education, which she (or rather dad) did, and I made it clear many times I was grateful and that it hurts she sees me as the opposite.

Then I said that it was a mental thing to say that your own kids should be grateful you allowed them to use your pots and shower and that when I have my own kids one day I will be happy to support them selflessly as long as I lived.

I think the last bit especially triggered her. She replied that I don’t get it, that she _is_ happy that I am home.

I replied ‘you are obviously not.’

She got furious, said I was being offensive and disrespectful as she stormed out of my room.

I hope I’m not sounding like a victim. I know I messed up my own life and I do my best now to take responsibility for myself and to not be a disappointment to my family.

But sometimes it feels this is a war I can never win and the solution is just to not fight it at all.

Am I a bad daughter? Am I a disrespectful ungrateful 26 year old child?

Here’s what Reddit users had to say.

This commenter thinks she didn’t do anything wrong.

Several people also said it’s time to get out of that house.

Another commenter thinks the mom is insane!

While others think there’s some responsibility on the daughter.

It would do them good to appreciate each other, in my opinion!

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.