His Mother Is Very Overbearing And Actually Got Him Fired From A Job, So He Is Cutting Her Out Of Her Life Even Though He Feels Very Guilty

Michael Levanduski

11 minutes ago

Shutterstock, Reddit

It is nice to be close to your family, but sometimes it can be overbearing if they have no boundaries.

What would you do if your mother was upset that you didn’t check in often enough (even though you are an adult), so she posted about your job online and got you fired?

That is what happened to the guy in this story, so when the family wouldn’t apologize, he has cut them off completely, but he feels bad about it.

AITAH for going no contact with my parents after they got me fired from my job and defended my sister for taking their side instead of mine?

I (24M) graduated from college a year ago and has now gotten an office job on my country’s capital, which is 2 hours away from my hometown.

Sounds like he is doing good work.

During college, I was recruited by a tutoring center, where I tutored my juniors materials that they struggle with on my free time. Even after I graduated, I was still contacted from time to time by their admin to teach classes and I’d take them if I could.

I was paid hourly and while the pay isn’t as big as you’d expect from private tutoring, I never complained because I love teaching.

It is nice to keep busy.

Last December nearing the end of the term on my campus (I’ve already worked on my office role by then), the tutoring center was flooded by requests and I was asked to fulfill some of them, which I did.

My working hours on my main job was from 9 AM to 6 PM, and back then I’d tutored from 7 PM up to 11 PM for 2 weeks or so.

This is an odd requirement for an adult.

This is where the issue starts to come up. My parents, mostly my mom (53F), required both me and my sister to check-in on the family WhatsApp group every morning, afternoon, and evening.

As much as I hate to do them since I think it’s a bit overbearing, I’d still do them because well, I didn’t really have much to lose.

He needs to put some firm boundaries in place with the family.

The problem is, if I missed two or more check-ins in a row, my mom would throw a tantrum in the group and start guilt-tripping by saying things like, “I’ve sacrificed everything for you and you can’t do a little check-in for me? You’re unbelievable.”, even though I explained to her that by that day I was busy.

Anyways, during the tutor peak season, since my schedules are packed (and even though I’ve explained my schedule to my parents), I couldn’t give the check-in timely (they expect me to give an update by 9 PM or so, because they thought by that time I should’ve been at home).

It is really none of his mom’s business.

As you might expect, my mom was upset at this and asked why did I spent long hours teaching. Quoting her own words, “Do you really need money that much?”.

I said, “No, it’s just that I like teaching plus I get the bonus of honing my coding skills because I majored in IT during college”.

Wow, mom is really out of line.

After some back and forth, my mom asked for my pay slip when I got paid later on the end of the month because she wants to know how much did I get after “breaking my back”. Her words, not mine.

I received my paycheck and sent the pay slip to my parents, being the dumb, naive kid that I was. Honestly the amount wasn’t much but I enjoyed teaching so I didn’t think much of it and just moved on with my day.

I would be so upset about this.

Imagine my surprise when suddenly the tutor center’s admin messaged me on WhatsApp attaching a Threads post with my pay slip on it. Basically, my mom posted my pay slip on Threads and complaining that “teachers are unpaid in this country, my son deserves a better salary” and more.

The post got viral and that’s how the admin caught wind of it. Technically speaking, I wasn’t fired, but they stopped reaching out with offers to teach and communicating with me, so it’s more like a quiet firing I guess.

He has every right to be upset with them.

I was livid with my parents. Granted, my mom did apologize initially but my father (56M) and my sister (20F) defended her actions and start blaming me instead.

They tell me that I got worked up over nothing, and to quote them, “Since you’re smart, you can just find some kids to privately tutor them for better salary”. I told them that it’s not just about the money, but it’s also about the relationship that I’ve maintained for the last 3 years.

I was in such good terms with them that they invited me as a guest for their new office branch opening event at one point.

Some families are unbelievable.

The argument got so bad that at my father’s retirement and birthday party, my sister completely refused to talk to me or acknowledge my presence even though I tried to talk to her to make peace.

The situation messed with my head enough that I couldn’t focus on any work that I’m doing. So, I went back to my hometown and had a heated argument with my parents accompanied by my girlfriend (24F).

How do they not see that they are in the wrong.

At the beginning, they were so firm that they didn’t make any mistake, not with the post itself nor the fact they also posted other stuff about me in that account without my consent or permission.

They start calling me overreacting and that I can just find other kids to tutor. It was so bad that my girlfriend had to gag me with her hand to prevent me from cursing them out loud.

This isn’t even a real apology.

In the end, they only apologized when I completely broken down in tears. At this point, I genuinely thought that the issue is solved and all I asked from them is to ask my sister to apologize to me because my sister blocked me at the time.

But later that night, my mother tried to reach out to my girlfriend behind my back to take my mother’s side in the conflict. She mentioned that my sister absolutely refused to apologize and that she agreed with her.

They are being manipulative.

She even claimed that my girlfriend supports my words and curses when she gagged my mouth. Understandably, my girlfriend didn’t bite the bait but she tried to be civil about it even though my mother’s text was increasingly harsh with every bubble chat.

At some point, my mother brought up my girlfriend’s family dark past to reason with her. She even brought up every item and thing she has purchased for my girlfriend, as if my girlfriend owes her.

Time to cut off the family.

Obviously, my girlfriend is mad too but, bless her heart, she kept the conversation mostly civil. This goes on until my mom told her that my sister actually don’t need my girlfriend but the other way around because it’s my girlfriend that wants to enter the family.

At this point, my girlfriend cuts off the communication with my mom and they haven’t talked since.

Not a bad idea.

At this point, I was so tired and furious at my parents that I decided to go no contact with them. Here is where I ask for your help and judgement.

My mom at one point spammed my phone during work and sent messages at 2 AM that I should “be the bigger man”, that “I’m still young and clueless”, and that “I would ruin my marriage if I do things like this”, which honestly ruined the mood when I read them in the morning.

He can get copies of important documents, no big deal.

She mentioned that she kept my university diploma and other documents hostage (passport, birth certificate, family registry) and that I’d have to shamefully returned to my hometown to retrieve them.

It’s been one month since I’ve gone no contact and the emotional burden is also eating me away everyday, because not a day goes by without me feeling guilty for going no contact with them.

There is no reason for him to feel bad.