As kids grow up, they need to be given more and more autonomy so they are ready to take care of themselves as adults.

What would you do if your son didn’t want to go to a school party for 5th grade, so you told him he didn’t have to, but your wife already told him he had to go?

That is the situation that the parents in this story are in, and Dad thinks that letting his son make the decision is more important, but the wife thinks she should make the decision.

AITA for telling my son he didn’t need to go to his elementary school party if he didn’t want to without first speaking with my wife?

My son is in 5th grade and today he has an elementary school party.

What was the party for?

I picked him up from school and asked him if he wanted to go and he said no, so I told him ok we wouldn’t go.

Well, I got home and my wife is mad, she said she had already told him it was non-negotiable and that we were all going as a family.

True, but some things are mandatory.

I told her he’s 11yo already and deserves some say, especially if the event isn’t mandatory.

Our daughter is in middle school and went to that elementary and she really wants to go to see all of her old teachers and she can’t go without her brother that actually attends the school.

I can definitely see both sides to this conflict.

I told my wife it’s not our daughter’s event and her opinion on the matter doesnt really matter.

She says its not about that, its about having this milestone and memory as a family, I disagree.

He should get some autonomy, but not with everything.

AITA for feeling like we need to give our 11yo 5th grade son autonomy and letting him choose whether he wants to go or not to the party?

AITA?

If Mom already said he had to go, then he should go. While it is his party, it does impact the whole family.

Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about this situation.

Well, this seems a little extreme.

Here is a commenter who says Mom is in the wrong.

It really depends on what the event is.

Not a bad way to look at it.

This person says the mom was out of line.

Kids need structure, but also some freedom.

If you liked this post, you might want to read this story about a teacher who taught the school’s administration a lesson after they made a sick kid take a final exam.