May 6, 2026 at 8:15 am

“If I Can’t Go, Nobody Can”: Why Some Siblings Treat Their Family’s Social Life Like a Personal Competition

by Heather Hall

Woman thinking because her sister is upset with her

Pexels/Reddit

Plans can get messy when someone feels left out, even if nothing really changed.

So, what would you do if you adjusted plans for your own schedule, knowing someone else could not attend either way? Would you see it as harmless? Or would you worry about how it may look to the others?

In the following story, one sister finds herself in this predicament. Here’s what’s going on.

AITAH for making plans on a different day when my sister is not available when she was never available in the first place

My sister and I are both college students, and we have a long weekend coming up. I am going home on Wednesday and going back on Sunday. My sister is staying at school so she can work. She is working on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday.

Some of our old coworkers asked if we wanted to go see a movie either on Saturday or Sunday, and I said Saturday would probably work best.

The thing is, my sister does not have a driver’s license, and our college is an hour away, so there is no way she could be there. She never responded to the chat, and that was 5 days ago.

She requested that they change the movie night.

This is where I might be wrong. My mom’s birthday is also coming up, and some of my siblings want to celebrate on Saturday.

While realistically, I can do both on the same day, I feel bad for leaving my mom out of her birthday dinner. So I asked if we could switch the movie night to Thursday.

About an hour later, my sister called me and started screaming at me, saying I only ever think of myself, and why would I offer a time when she is not available.

Still, her sister was very upset.

I pointed out to her that the only days offered before I asked to change the day were also unavailable, so she could not go either way.

She said that was not the point, that I never think of her, and that it would be easier for her to go on Saturday rather than Thursday.

I explained again how it would not be possible for her to do any day, so I did not see the harm in asking for a different day she could not go.

She called me selfish again and hung up on me.

AITA?

Eek! It’s easy to see why her sister said that, but she couldn’t go anyway, so…

Let’s check out what the people over at Reddit think about this.

Good points.

Mad Sister 3 If I Can’t Go, Nobody Can: Why Some Siblings Treat Their Family’s Social Life Like a Personal Competition

For this reader, it’s confusing that the sister was mad about the movies but not their mom.

Mad Sister 2 If I Can’t Go, Nobody Can: Why Some Siblings Treat Their Family’s Social Life Like a Personal Competition

According to this comment, the sister should’ve spoken up.

Mad Sister 1 If I Can’t Go, Nobody Can: Why Some Siblings Treat Their Family’s Social Life Like a Personal Competition

This reader thinks her reaction was unfair.

Mad Sister If I Can’t Go, Nobody Can: Why Some Siblings Treat Their Family’s Social Life Like a Personal Competition

Her sister has no one to blame but herself. Next time, she’ll speak up and not play games like this.

If you enjoyed this post, check out this story about a woman who isn’t sure she wants a sibling relationship with a sister she just met.