When a child becomes an adult and starts to become more independent, their relationship with their parents needs to evolve as well. In virtually every case, this causes some conflict between parents and children.

What would you do if you were driving with your Dad in the car and he kept criticizing how you drove, and even swearing at you to do things differently?

That is what happened to the young man in this story, so he yelled back at his father and demanded an apology, which Dad refused to give. Now the two are still upset with each other, both thinking that the other was in the wrong, and this young man wonders if he did anything wrong.

While certainly not an uncommon issue between parents and kids, it is a difficult one to navigate. Read through the story below and see whose side you are on.

AITA for telling dad he is acting like a child in my car?

I (25M) got a job offer and am currently apartment shopping.

Moving to be close to his job makes sense.

Its 2 hours from my parent’s place, mandates graveyard shifts AND requires I dedicate time outside of work to study to succeed. I cant justify a long commute.

Parents insist on coming w/ me to check places out.

Is he being rude, or just trying to help his son improve his driving?

Recently dad (54M) came with me. We drove in my car.

I recently got my license and he’s constantly commenting on my driving style, insisting I am not going fast enough, dont see traffic. etc.

These two seem to have different ideas on how the trip should go.

I am ready to go home but he (1) wants to see my job (2) wants Chinese food. I ask him for the address and he says “Well figure it out later”

I entered my job and home. We see my job. Before I can ask him the address he asks why the GPS is sending us home. I say he never told me the address

Driving in a new area is always stressful.

I make wrong turns because I’m relying on his instruction, he’s upset. I say maybe if he gave me the address when I asked there would be no misunderstanding. Whatever. 🤷🏿‍♂️

I get off the highway bc I attempted to merge, but a car wanted to straddle the white line therefore block all view of traffic behind me.

Come on, Dad, yelling isn’t going to make him drive better.

I decided it wasn’t a big deal and got off. He immediately shouts why I got off of highway.

I tried to explain to him that I literally could not see the traffic behind me because of the guy blocking my view, but all he hears is “The car behind me-“ before he interrupts, saying I should have slowed down and let him pass.

If anything, Dad is making this whole situation unsafe.

I can’t get the situation out without him interrupting me, telling me that he has more experience, what I did was stupid. Swearing at me. Calling me a nincompoop.

I tell him he’s behaving like a child, and that I wasn’t going to slam into traffic I couldn’t see to make his life more convenient. He ramps up with even more yelling.

The age-old conflict arises as kids become more independent.

When we get home, I told him that I don’t care what excuse he gave me, the way he spoke to me in my car is not the way a self proclaimed god fearing man should be talking to his son.

It was disgusting, irritating, and that I expect an apology.

Really mature, Dad.

“You won’t get a one from me. I expect an apology from YOU.” he says

I’m ready to forget until my sis (28F) says dad spoke to her and that we should talk later, then mom telling me that I should have show more “Respect” to dad, who provided for me and raised me, by not using those words.

Everyone is ganging up on him.

Even after explaining the traffic situation and disgusting language, she refused to understand why I felt the way I did, and accused me of making enemies.

Dad tried to reconcile with me, which persisted of him asking me why I ran around telling our business, still refusing to listen.

There is no winning an argument like this.

The second argument got a lot deeper than this, but he never apologized.

He accused me of gaslighting him, kept demanding to know what words he said, claiming he only swore at me after I called him a child.

No, Dad is trying to cling to power in a relationship with a maturing dynamic.

Is this one sided? Was I wrong for how I handled this?

AITA?

Nope. This type of conflict is very common as kids grow up and become more independent. Parents try to hold on to their position of authority while the child wants to live like an adult. It may take a while, but these types of things usually work themselves out as the parent-child relationship develops into an adult-adult relationship.

That being said, Dad was out of line with how he handled the situation. While the son could have resisted the urge to defend himself, Dad was the one who caused the issues.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a woman who is caught in the middle of family drama after cleaning out her hoarder father’s home.

Read on to see what the people in the comments have to say about this.

Dad acted like a child and put them both in danger.

He was right to stand up for himself.

Moving out will likely help this relationship.

Passengers should never be a distraction to the driver.

Dad really was acting like a child.

The relationship between father and son needs to evolve as kids grow up. It is quite clear that Dad is having trouble with this maturing of the relationship, and if he isn’t careful, he could cause long-term harm.

Hopefully, both the father and son in this story can move past this and learn to interact with each other as equals. This is something that every parent and child needs to go through in life.